The Black Rose
by E.asiuL
Summary: An old friend related to the Cullen family comes to visit with a purpose and her past comes with her. She is not just a friend, or not just a vampire. Maybe, it would have been better if the Cullens didn't open the door. / AU/OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, this is an experiment. Once I thought: what if Carlisle's change was not an accident? What if the vampire that changed him knew him? What if it was family? And that's the story that came into my mind. I promise that the story will answer all – or most of all – your questions (and if it can't, I will, you have only to ask). **

**English is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

1.

_Laguna POV_

As usual, it was raining.

_Typical…_ I thought. Lucky me, I was almost there. I was wondering how they were going to react to my visit, especially after all that time. _If they only knew why I'm here now…_

I was sure I couldn't take them by surprise. Not with Alice.

I reached the door, drew a deep and useless breath and lift a hand to knock, when the door was opened.

I would have recognized my old friend – well, in comparison to me, he will always be a child – among a crowd. His smile, open and sincere, and the presence of the whole family, made me thought that Alice had already seen everything.

"We were waiting for you, Magdalena." Esme smiled, behind him. I sighed and smiled back at her.

"Please, Esme… I don't use that name from… well, I don't even remember how long! Please!" I begged, and everyone smiled while I entered in the house. Nobody had left the family, there was even a new member. A girl. Edward was eyeing me and holding her. I realized immediately why: she was human, and I was thirsty. I stopped breathing, unwillingly to cause any problems. I've gained perfect control over the years, but better not to test my limits. Edward and the girl relaxed. I meant no harm, why were they afraid? Only then, I noticed the scar on her hand: she didn't met only the good ones.

I was absolutely thirsty.

"So… Why are you here? Tired of London? A wonderful change…" Emmett asked.

"I'll never be tired of my city…" my smiled faded, like I'd swallowed it. "… until that grave will be there. You know it." I said, sharply. The others gave Emmett a hard look. "It's nothing." I shook my head, sending a life of memories away. Everyone seemed quiet, except the girl, that eyed me curiously.

I was used to that sort of looks. I lived with those since I was alive. From the couch were she was sitting, right in front of me, she could see, in spite of my hair, the scar on the right half of my face, that started on my forehead and ended on my cheekbone. Till now, everybody had look mostly the scar, but she seemed not to notice it.

"Oh! We didn't introduce you!" Esme said, noticing the looks between me and the girl.

"Magd… ehm… Laguna, this is Bella, Edward's girlfriend. Bella, this is Laguna, an old friend of this family." She said, and I stood up to shake hands with a smile. Bella answered to both, and then I sat back on my couch.

"I'd like to underline the 'old'. " Edward tried to tease me. It was an old game between us.

"Behave, kid. I may be old, but I'm not rusty." I said.

"Well… for being a 600-year-old, you look good."he said, and I saw Bella staring at me in shock.

"600?" she asked.

"I was born in 1386. Well, not yesterday, but…" I shrugged. Were the years really so many? I touched the ring on my finger: yes, they were so many. So damned many.

Nobody cared about my gesture. Well, everybody did, but they knew what it meant. As usual, I was thinking about _him. _They never asked me question about _him_. I hope that neither Bella would. Luckily, she didn't ask. _Smart girl_, I thought.

"Seriously, why are you here? It has been a long time…" Rosalie reproached me.

"Well, little girl, when was the last time that _you_ came to visit _me_? Uhm… your last wedding? Am I wrong?" I crossed my arms, grinning. Rosalie lowered her eyes and the others burst into laughter. "The reproach was for everybody. I thought you'd forgotten the poor old aunt!" I said, laughing.

I crossed Bella's eyes. Poor girl! She was confused. But it would have lasted short. Edward would have soon tell her everything about me, right?

_Bella POV_

The more I looked at her, the less I understood. She stood there, on the couch, talking, laughing… but who was her? Edward and Alice had informed me about her arrival, telling me that an old family friend was coming to visit, but nothing more. I knew nothing about her, except that, now, she was thirsty. The scar that I could see on her face… her changing in mood, as she thought about something, and her way of playing with her ring, as to have comfort by it… something was wrong. As soon as possible, I would have asked Edward to tell me something about her, above all about her last sentence: _I'd thought you'd forgotten the poor old aunt!_

_Edward POV_

It was a long time, maybe years, that we didn't see Laguna. No phone calls, no letters, even if we had told her every new address. I'd came to fear that something had happened to her. That she had decided to die. Of course, she missed _him_ terribly, even though _he_ had died long time ago. Time hadn't cured that pain. I wondered if, at her place, I could have lived six hundred years after Bella's death. I realized that it was impossible. Even though I knew her from forever, I couldn't help but to wonder how she could have survived. I would have never doubted her feelings for _him_, but I couldn't understand.

What mattered, now, was that she was with us.


	2. Chapter 2

**English is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

2

_Laguna POV_

Suddenly, Alice jolted. "Oh no! Charlie had decided to come home earlier! Edward, take Bella home!" her brother didn't make her said it twice, and, in less than a second, he and the girl vanished through the door, his car started and they left.

Now, I was looking from one to another, confused. "Ehm… guys? What's happening?" I asked.

"Well… Charlie is Bella's father, and some time ago had practically buried her at home…" Alice explained. At that half explanation, I raised an eyebrow.

"Despotic father or bad girl?" I asked, immediately correcting myself. "Wait, I didn't mean to ask this…" I started again when I saw their expressions. I drew a quick breath and sighed. "What had happened to make her father act like this? I bet that she can hardly see Edward."

"Well… a pair of episodes…" Rosalie shrugged. You could have seen from a distance that she wasn't so sure of that relationship, at least not on the surface. But I knew her well enough to know that all she wanted was her brother's happiness, and she could have dealt with the part of her that was refusing Bella. Rosalie just needed some time to accept someone.

Her answer made her gain a bad look from her siblings.

"What, guys? I just answered the question!" she said.

"I would not say just 'episodes', Rose…" Emmett said. Then, he spoke to me. "Last year, we met three vampires, one of them being a tracker. He chose Bella as a snack. To save herself, and buy us some time to kill him, Bella ran to Phoenix, running from her father's house, saying that she didn't want to see Edward again. Then, Bella escaped Jasper and Alice's surveillance and met the tracker, who had made her believe that he had kidnapped her mother. Useless to say that we made it in the nick of time…" he shook his head. "Obviously, Charlie thinks that Bella 'accidentally' had hurt herself falling off the stairs in a hotel." I looked at him open-mouthed. "Believe me, she could have tripped and smashed the window like we pretended. Maybe even more…" he added.

I nodded. "And this is the first. I don't think that this is enough for her father's reaction. Is there more?" I asked, maybe being a little rude. Maybe I should have waited for Edward and ask him.

Well… speak of the devil…

The door was opened and Edward sat back on his spot on the couch.

"Emmett had told you the first 'episode'. I'm going to tell you about the second." He said.

I nodded, motioning to him to continue.

"Everything happened after a little domestic accident. It was Bella's birthday, and we were making a little party here. While opening a present, she accidentally cut her finger…"

"And I've almost tried to kill her. I've still got some problems…" Jasper interrupted him. I could easily understand him. Sometimes, even I had still problems. But I was an assassin since I was alive…

"I don't blame you, and you know it." Edward said, resuming his speech. "So, I decided that vampires had to leave Bella's life. It was too dangerous, for her, staying with me. Despite nobody liked it…" he looked at everybody. "…we left the city. And I broke up with Bella, promising that it would have been as if I've never existed." He shook his head. "What a stupid promise!" I smiled at his words, motioning to him to go on. "Well… one day, Alice had a vision. She saw Bella jumping off of a cliff. I was… well, I was far away from them, I needed to be alone…" he shrugged, as to apologize, but I was the last person he had to apologize to. "Rosalie called me to tell me about the vision and I felt as the world was ended. You know what I mean." I nodded. Yeah, I knew too well. My world had ended 598 years, five months, two weeks, and three days before. "I decided to die. I'm sure that I don't have to explain to you how I felt..." his voice dropped to a whisper. I nodded again. "I went to the Volturi, and asked them to kill me, but I was denied. I decided then to provoke them, to force them to kill me. I try to expose myself to the sun, but then Bella came and she stopped me. To save me from destruction, she had again run away from her father, vanishing for three days leaving only a note to tell her father that something happened to me and that I needed her. I'm sure you can imagine Charlie's reaction... he would have killed me with his bare hands..." he shook his head. "I had left her, she suffered because of me, and then, when Alice told her what I was going to do, she took the first flight to stop me. Charlie knows not all the details about us, our nature..." he was about telling me more, when I stopped him.

"Have you ever thought about changing her?" yeah, I asked him _the_ question. I didn't like his expression... "Sorry, I had no right to ask..." I lowered my eyes to the carpet. Edward stood up and went for the stairs, vanishing upstairs. I heard the door of what I supposed was his room close with such force that I thought it was now in pieces.

"Sometimes I'm an idiot..." I tried to justify myself with the others.

"Don't worry. He just doesn't like the idea... you know what he thinks about that..." Esme said, sweet as usual. I didn't know what I would have done, lately, without her. She acted like a mother to me, and I could have been her great-grandmother. "Changing subject... " she turned then to face her children. "Who wants to go hunting with Laguna?" then, she turned again to me. "You _do_ need to hunt, darling." She smiled.

"Yeah..." I stood up. "OK, who comes with me?"

As usual, Emmett volunteered. "Me!"

"Will you ever buy another car?" I asked, fighting – and losing – with the seatbelt. He laughed.

"I don't think I'll ever buy another car. Well, could you picture me in another car but this?" he laughed again.

"You're right." I gave up my fight with the seatbelt. "But... I don't know... something _different_... for Rosalie, I mean... I just can't see her in this monster."

"Yeah... but you gave your Aston Martin to _Edward..._" and here for you, ladies and gentlemen, 'little Emmett' on stage!

"You wanted one too?" I couldn't ever see Emmett in a car like that for all the blood in the world. No.

"No, but..." he shrugged. We stopped. "Would you like me to wait here?"

"Come with me, so we can continue our little chat." I saw him smile.

We entered the woods quietly. Suddendly, I gestured to Emmett to say where he was. I took my dagger – a reminder of my long lost human life – and went for my prey.

Emmett followed me from a safe distance. When I was alive, I've been an assassin, and I wasn't ashamed of saying it. I've been thaught how to surprise my victim from behind and how to avoid screaming that could put me in trouble. Now that my victimes weren't human beings anymore – and Carlisle was the only one to thank for it – the method was still valid.

The bear was enormous. Or, maybe, I was too small. I steadied my grip on the dagger and attacked, cutting the bear's throat and making the animal fall to the ground.

_Edward POV_

_Have you ever thought about changing her?_

Yes, I did. And she did, too. She _asked_ me to. But I couldn't do it... how could I force her to give up everything? Her family? Her friends? Her _life_? For _me_? I just couldn't.

I sighed. I wasn't angry at Laguna, not really. I just snapped because of her question. I couldn't really blame her. I knew why she asked. I knew it too well. She only wanted me not to end up like her, mourning her lost love.

While she asked me if I ever thought of changing Bella, she was thinking of _his _death. The death of the only person she trusted. The only person she had ever loved. I felt all the grief that her choice, _my same choice_, had caused her. She blamed herself for not saving him. Now, she hoped that I wouldn't make her mistake.

_Bella POV_

Edward left, telling me he would have come back. But it was already midnight and he wasn't back yet. I sighed, turning my back to the window. Maybe he was too well mannered for not entertain a guest on the first night of her staying. Maybe they were going hunting. My mind started to run, helped by the complicity I had felt back at the house. I tried to stop thinking about it. She was only a friend. A good friend. I had to stop being childish and try to sleep. I would have asked for details about their friendship. I would have asked something to Laguna.

Laguna... it wasn't ever her name! How did Esme call her? Magdalena...

I turned again under the covers, staring at the ceiling, thinking of her.

Emmett had asked her if she was tired of London, and she had said that she will never be tired of her city until a grave would have been there. Now, whose grave was it? Of a man? Maybe the same man who gave her the ring she had on her finger. And what about her scar? And her life? She looked like she was eighteen or nineteen. So, if she was born in 1386, what did she do until 1404? Did she always live in London?

When I fell asleep with more questions than answers, it was three a.m.

Edward wasn't there.


	3. Chapter 3

**English is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

3

_Laguna POV_

"Do you think Edward will kill me? For what I asked him, I mean..."

"Well... he was angry, you're right. You shouldn't have asked him if he had thought about changing Bella. But it's not your fault. You didn't even know of her existence." Emmett shrugged.

"I've the impression that your brother has been thinking about changing this sweet little girl, am I wrong?" I said.

"Bella wants to be changed, but you know Edward and all his ideas about being soulless and blah blah blah..." Emmett said. I stared out of the window.

_Here we go again. _I thought. _I hope he doesn't repeat my mistake..._

"Laguna? Are you ok?" Emmett asked, worried about my expression.

"Don't worry, I'm ok." I lowered my eyes and my voice. "Just... memories." He stopped the car. We were home.

"You didn't answer. Do you think he will kill me?" I asked.

He smiled. "If I know my brother, he's already forgiven you."

Esme was the only one downstairs. She closed the book she was reading and greeted us with a smile.

"Are you already done? You've been fast!" she said.

"Well, you know I don't need that much blood." I answered. "And Emmett didn't join me." I shrugged while he laughed.

"You were doing good on your own, _Auntie_. And I didn't need to hunt." The way he looked at the stairs reminded me of what I had to do. I sighed.

"Esme... is he still in his bedroom?" there wasn't need to say who I meant. Esme nodded.

"Yes. I think he's fine, now. You know it's impossible for him to stay mad _at you_. Go, dear. I'm sure he's waiting for you." She smiled again, and I went upstairs.

I stopped at his door. I didn't try the handle: too easy. I drew a deep – and useless – breath and held my hand to knock, when, from the room, came a song I knew too well: _Deathly lost, this can't be real, cannot stand this hell I feel..._

The happiest song in the world: _Fade to Black_. Nothing against Metallica, but Fade to Black...

I breathed again. While I was there thinking of what to do, the song ended: _Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye..._

"The door's open." I was surprised by his voice. I still had a hand raised to knock. Was I wrong, or he sounded like he was smiling? I opened the door, entering the room, closing the door and leaning against it. Edward was at the window, looking at the night.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I had no right to ask. It's none of my business." He knew to what I was referring to. Another song started: _Nothing else matters. _I smiled: I burned that CD for him the last time he came to London.

Edward shook his head. "You're right. You had no right to ask." He said, his voice hard. "You have no right to tell me what to do with my life, not when you're here to tell me that you're going to die!" he hissed, turning to look at me, anger and sadness painted on his face.

"Alice!" I said through gritted teeth. I didn't want to talk about the years of silence and my sudden visit. Alice and Edward, obviously, knew everything, but I didn't want the others to know, at least not until I was sure. I wanted to be the one the tell them, at the right time. Maybe before leaving. Maybe never. "I hope she told only you." I crossed my arms, as I've always done in the prelude of a fight with _him_. I closed my eyes and saw _his_ face. _God, I miss you._

Edward noticed, and sighed. He started to understand my reasons.

"Nobody knows but us." He came closer. "I... I know." He admitted. "Just... why _now_? Why waiting so long for..."

"I thought I could keep my promise." I interrupted him. "I've tried, but I can't..."

"Stop. There's no need to explain..." he said, sitting on the floor, near the couch, inviting me to sit beside him.

"So... am I forgiven?" I asked, feeling like I was playing a part that wasn't mine. I should have started to keep my distance. I should have started to behave. Now, there was Bella with him. And I was happy for him. I couldn't screw everything up.

Edward laughed. "Just for this time. You're lucky. Especially with your latest thoughts..."

"Hey! Give me my privacy, thank you!" I laughed, reaching for a pillow on the couch.

"What do you want to do with that pillow?" he asked, pointing to it. I stood, the pillow in both hands, over my head. "No!" Edward raised his hands in surrender, still laughing.

"Are you still laughing?" the pillow found his face, several times, and Edward's back meet, ungracefully, the floor, while I sat on his legs. Then, he inverted our positions and grabbed the pillow with one hand and my wrists with the other.

"Admit your defeat!" he said, tightening his grip.

I shook my head. "Never!" I tried to move, but it was impossible. I almost forgot the differenced in dimensions. Emmett liked to say that he could carry me in his pocket.

"Oh, come on! You're acting like a child!" he grinned, and I stuck my tongue out at him. "Ok. You had it coming." He stood up just a little, aiming at my face with the pillow.

And than, Alice opened the door and couldn't help but laugh.

Edward turned towards her and I was free. I pretended I didn't notice.

"What, Alice?" he asked, while I pushed him back on the floor. "Hey! Not fair! Two against one!" Edward laughed again.

Alice was looking at us, shooking her head. "We thought you two were fighting. For real. Emmett wanted to come and help you, Edward." She bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

"Like I needed it..." Edward said, defiantly.

"Watch out, kid. Remember who I am..." I said, while taking my dagger from my boot. "Remember my past..." I was at his back in a second. "Remember how many people had literally lost their head, after meeting me..." the blade just touched his skin.

"Ok... you win." He raised his hands, surrendering.

I took two steps back, sheltering the blade. "Wise choice, kid."

Alice was still shooking her head. "I'm glad you two are serious again." She nodded. "Edward, you weren't supposed to...?"

"You're right. She wouldn't forgive me." And in a second, he was away.

"He spends the night at Bella's." Alice said. Then, noticing my confusion, she added. "Don't worry: he just watches her while she sleeps."

_Creep. _

"Ah! While you were hunting with Emmett, Esme and I unpacked your bags. Is it okay?"

I sighed, hands in my pockets. "It's fine. Show me where you have placed me."

_Edward_

Honestly? I had forgotten that I had promised to Bella that I would have spent the night with her, as usual.

As usual, Laguna made me forget everything.

I ran as fast as I could. It was almost dawn. I hoped that Bella didn't notice my absence.

I was in her room minutes before the sun was up. I stood beside the window, watching her fight with her sheets. She was nervous, and I knew why.

The sun was up, and Charlie was gone, when I finally decided to sit on the rocking chair.

I owned her an explaination.

While I was sitting, Bella woke.

_Bella_

I had a lot of nightmares. In every one of them, Edward left me. For Laguna.

It was almost dawn, and I was almost awake, when I heard Edward coming through the window. I wasn't even sure it was him.

I opened my eyes and saw him.

He wasn't smiling.


	4. Chapter 4

_Cottoncandybl52: thank you! I appreciate your suggestion, but the story is already written (in Italian) and I didn't even consider that possibility, while writing. (Just wait a few chapters and you'll see why)._

_Musafan: thank you! _

**English is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

4

My room was simply _huge_. Well, it was huge compared to my standards. Well, thinking about it, _all _the rooms in that house where enormous, for me. I would have never understood why someone should need so much space. The only negative side of my new room was that it was next door to Edward. But I wouldn't have been there for long. Or, at least, that was the plan.

My things were exactly where I would have placed them, even my drawings on the walls. I would have done exactly what Alice and Esme did.

The room hadn't the glass-wall, like Edward's, but 'only' a large window. On the floor, little pillows were scattered, maybe all that was left of old couches. Knowing my hatred towards beds – they were useless, so why have one? – the only 'soft' thing in the rooms where the pillows. There wasn't even furniture, just an easel and my trunk, the only things I needed.

I had spent the morning trying to find a way to tell my family I was going to die, and failing. Then, after pacing back and forth for awhile, I ended up sitting on the windowsill, a sketchpad on my bended knees and charcoal in hand.

When I heard someone knocking, I answered with an absent-minded "Come in!", my eyes moving from the sketchpad to the view and viceversa.

"Please, don't tell me you've been up here, alone, all day long!" Esme's voice brought me back to reality. I smiled.

"Well... yes. I... didn't know what to do, so I stayed here..." I admitted, guilty. As usual, my hand found its way to the back of my neck. I had a scar, there, made by an ax on the only time I was caught. Obviously, I killed the hangman before he killed me. I was lucky to go back home to _him_ with my head still on my neck and only a new scar to say I've been on the scaffold.

Esme sighed and shook her head. "This is your home, too. You can do whatever you want. Now, come dowstairs with me. It's an order." She smiled again. I left pad and charcoal on the floor and went with her.

_Bella_

"I know, I'm late." He started, as soon as I got up.

"I noticed." I answered, dry. I didn't look at him. _Good, Edward. I'm mad at you, now. _"I believe your guest is the reason why you're late, isn't she?" Oh, the look on your face! I'm right! I knew it!

"Yes", he admitted.

"Too polite to ditch a guest?" I asked, glaring at him. "She needed to go hunting, and you went with her, right?" I was standing near the bed, arms crossed.

"No. Emmett went with her. When they came back, Laguna and I argued. That's why I'm late." He aswered, daring to look at me. I calmed down a little.

"You seemed to get on so well..." I sat on the bed.

"Exactly. She was there when Carlisle changed me. I've known her all my life. We fought because she asked me if I've ever thought about..." he lowered his eyes, as if he didn't know how to continue. "...changing you."

I was angry again.

"Why does she care? She doesn't even know me!" I stood again, walking away from him.

"She doesn't know _you, _but she do know _me._ She want me to be happy and... no, nothing."

"_nothing?_ What is she hiding, Edward?" there was something he wasn't telling me, I was sure.

"Her life has been an hell, Bella. But it's not my story to tell."

"I want to know what she's hiding, Edward! I don't like her scar!" I don't like the fact that you two are friends, I don't like the fact that you spend the night with her and not with me. I don't like her.

"You don't know her! You know nothing about her! You can't understand! You can't understand _her_!" and now, it was him who was getting angry. Since when I was so childish? "See you at school, Bella." And with that, he was gone.

_Edward_

I've never seen Bella acting in that way. I couldn't tell her Laguna's story like I did for Carlisle. Laguna would have never forgiven me.

_She was there when Carlisle changed me. _Yes. She told me about my mother's death and, with Carlisle, she explained me what I am. She took me home after I left Carlisle and Esme. She had always been my friend. She had always been there for me.

And now, Bella was jealous.

_You know nothing about her!_

_you can't understand!_

_You can't understand _her!

No. I couldn't explain to Bella what Laguna had suffered. Nobody could, but her.

I didn't go to school.

Not now. I can't deal with you, Bella. Not when my best friend wants to die.


	5. Chapter 5

**I think I have some explaining to do, concerning Laguna's intention. Ok, I explain everything now, let me know if I'm clear enough. (if not, feel free to contact me and ask me everything you think it's not clear. I'll answer. I promise).**

**Laguna is not going to steal Edward from Bella. I don't like the stories in which Edward and Bella are not together, why should I want to write one?**

**This story is already complete, I'm only translating my own work. Thank you for every suggestion, but I've already written "the end".**

**Laguna is not in love with Edward. They're friends. She still loves – and always will – the same man she was in love with when she was human. She misses him and still mourns his death, 600 long years later. That's why she wants to die, once and for all. She's tired of living without him, even though she promised him that she would have lived after his death.**

**Now, the fight between Edward and Bella. I didn't like making those two fight. But I thought it was necessary. **

_**Why Bella got angry and acted like a three-years-old? **_**What would you have done at her place? The love of your life, who had only had eyes only for you and spends every second of his time with you, suddenly spends the night not with you but with another woman, a friend he never mentioned. I would see red (eventually, I'd calm down, but at first I would kick him where the sun doesn't shine). Bella got jealous. They fight, like every couple. They sounded just normal, to me.**

_**Why did Edward left without saying a word, without explaining? **_**Poor guy is confused. Laguna is a friend. They've known each other for ninety years, she's sort of a constant in his life. She's family. (Emmett has called her 'Auntie', remember?) I don't know about you, but I would take it pretty bad if I was him.**

**Ok, I don't know if I've forgotten anything so... I'm here for every doubt.**

**E****nglish is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

* * *

5

_Laguna _

Esme and I where in the living room, and, after filling me in with what had happened in the last ten years, she started talking about Bella and how good she was for Edward.

"I have to agree with you, Esme. There's something new, in him, a sort of light. He seems happy." I said. "I only hope that my visit won't ruin everything, between them. I know how Edward is, when I'm around..." I lowered my eyes, thinking of our pillow fight. If it had led to something else, I would have never forgiven myself. Not this time.

"We all now how Edward cares about you. But you don't have to worry." She smiled, and I relaxed.

Then, as if on clue, the door open and Edward came.

"What are you doing here?" Esme asked, surprised. "School is not over yet."

"I didn't go. Not today." He sat on the couch, eyes closed. "We argued."

_I knew it._ I shouldn't have come. Ten years weren't enough. "My fault?" I asked. I wasn't sure. They could have had tons of reasons to fight. But I couldn't help feeling guilty.

"A little..." he answered, without looking at me.

" 'A little' as in 'we started with something else and ended with you' or 'it was only about you'?" I asked. It could have been my fault, after all. He went to her after arguing with me. After our childish pillow fight. After looking at me in _that _way. That was exactly why I have been away from my family for the last ten years. Especially away from Edward.

He sighed. "Bella is jealous. But she is not stupid: she will understand and get over it."

The question was: was it really that simple? My answer was: no.

"Do you really think it will be that easy?" I said, standing, looking apologetically at Esme, before moving towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked, still on the couch.

"Upstairs. My room." I answered, without turning back. Edward was optimistic about Bella, I wasn't. She was jealous. I would have been, too, if I were in her shoes. Especially knowing why I've been away all this time. And he knew it! It's not something you can do on your own, we were both there! And Alice knew it, too. She had seen it, and chosen to not tell me about it. Maybe the devil pixie thought it was something good. But it hadn't been good. Not for me, at least.

I closed the door of the room and went to sit on the windowsill, my left cheek against the glass.

Soon, I heard the door of my room open and close, and footsteps approaching. Edward. If there was one thing that I was able to do, it was recognizing people from their footsteps. A trick I learned more the six hundred years before, when I was no more than six or seven.

"Are you here to blame me? Last time, it was your fault too, not only mine. And you know it." I said, without looking at him, not even moving.

"No. I'm not blaming you. Not for today. Not for ten years ago." He leaned against the window, opposite to me.

"No? What do you want, now, then?" I didn't remember ever being so hard with him. I got off the window, leaning with my back against it, elbows on the sill.

"Nothing. I just... I just wanted to know why we haven't heard from you or seen you for all this time..." he lowered his voice. "You have no idea what I have thought... how your silence has scared me. I have been imagining the worst..."

Guilt crept into my stomach, like a cold hand. I fought with the desire of reassuring him and I put on my mask. The one I used when I had to kill someone.

"You know why, Edward." I didn't look at him, but removed the hair that obscured the right side of my face, exposing the scar. "I shouldn't have left you touch my scar." Ok, the mask of the assassin was gone to hell.

"If I rember correctly, I've touched _all_ your scars." He said back. What was he trying to do?

"You didn't exactly touch all of them. Maybe I remember better that you do."

"Sorry to correct you, but there's skin on the lips, you know... so, I've touched them all."

"Ok, ok, I got it, Doc!" I snapped, arms crossed, defensive.

He laughed, then stopped when he saw the look on my face. He was serious again.

"Please, tell me that it isn't the reason why we haven't had your news for so long!" he asked, then, skeptical.

I sighed, moving away from the window. "Yes. We... I..." I shook my head. How could I have explained to him that, for me, it had been like cheating on _him_?

"You can't stay faithful to a corpse! You know that, right now, _he_ is just dust! No more than dust!" he took me by the shoulders.

"I... I promised..." I couldn't react.

"You promised _him_ to live, Laguna. You should have had someone killing you when he died, not now. You can't tell me that it has been a mistake, that for you it was like cheating on _him_... you h ave been with another man, after _he _left you. Then, you made up and came back together. Tell me, when you have been with Zacc, did you feel like you were cheating on _him_? Or you have saved your guilt for me, six hundred years after A..."

"Don't say _his_ name!" I hissed, looking him in the eyes. Nobody says _his _name without consequences. Not with me in the same room.

"What will you do? Will you slap me?" Edward stepped back, crossing his arms, waiting for my answer.

_when you have been with Zacc, did you feel like you were cheating on _him_?_

_Will you slap me?_

And then, the memory came.

_London, 1401. His room at the Inn._

_I'm leaning with my back against the window, arms crossed. He is sitting on the bed,in front of me. His long fingers are gripping the mattress. He is looking at the floor, his face shadowed by his long dark hair. I can't see his eyes. His lips are barely moving._

"_You... slept... with... with him?"_

"_You were gone. You left me without an explanation. Didn't you want me to be happy?" _

"_You didn't even let me touch you."_

"_You know what I've been through, before meeting you..."_

"_It's not an excuse..."_

"_You were gone! And he looked like you... he was just like you!"_

"_I can't understand, Lagu. I just can't..."_

"_I wanted you! I was with him and called your name!"_

_He looks at me, then. I'm crying. He comes to me, and slaps me. Two times. My lower lip starts to bleed._

"_Do you believe you are the only one who was hurt?" his voice is hard, but his eyes are crying. "I've tried to find you in other women, and I've failed."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Me too." His hand, now, is gentle. And everything is like it was before. Like the last two years didn't happen._

The worst part of that memory was that Edward saw it too.

_Edward._

It wasn't the first time that I saw one of Laguna's memories. And it wasn't the first time that I saw _him _or heard _his _voice. But that scene... it was the first time that I saw it.

Laguna had told me of the rooms of the Inn, of the time spent in _his _room. But I knew nothing of that part of the discussion they had when _he _ came back.

I wasn't prepared. I wasn't prepared to her pain and her shame for her confession.

She wasn't looking at me like she was before, with the blank face she wore for killing. Now, I was looking at her, and her only.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..." without other words, I hugged her.

_Bella_

He left. Without a word. I didn't see him at school.

I couldn't help but think about that morning. He said that he had passed the night arguing with Laguna, we have fought because of her, and now he was skipping school to avoid me. I didn't ask Alice any explanation or advice. I had to do it on my own.

I had to find out who Laguna was.

* * *

**See you next Saturday or Sunday! (I hope earlier xD)**


	6. Chapter 6

**E****nglish is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

6

_Laguna_

The guys came back from school and, obviously, Alice claimed her brother's attention.

I remained in my room, at the easel, alone with my new canvas. With my new painting. The background was dark. I had no idea of what I would have painted, at least not before finishing.

It had always worked this way, for me. I started with an idea and ended doing something else. This time, the idea was two eyes with a dark background. But, at the end, I had a deep purple background and a black rose.

I was done for the day. I stepped back from the easel, looking at my work. It wasn't that bad.

"Ok, now you stay here and dry yourself..." I said, placing the easel near the open window and then starting to clean the mess I had made.

A soft knock made me turn towards the door.

"Come in!"

Alice came in. I wasn't able to understand her expression. Without a word, she sat on a pillow.

"The rose again..." she sighed, shooking her head.

"What do you want?" I asked her, maybe too harsh. She stiffened.

"Bella and Edward fought, this morning." She answered, dry.

"I know. He told me. I'm feeling guilty enough, for today. Do you think it's enough?" I turned to face her, angry. Alice lowered her eyes.

"You can't do it... you can't do this to him." She murmured.

"I don't understand what, in your opinion, I should not do. My life is still my own and I'll do whatever I want with it." I answered back.

"You can't!" she stood, without coming closer. "Laguna... you can't die! Don't be so selfish..."

That was the point. And she was sure to convince me where her brother had failed. But I wouldn't have changed my mind.

"I already told Edward. Ask him my reasons." I returned to the cleaning. I couldn't believe that just one canvas would have produced all that mess.

"I know... but... but stop thinking about how hurt are you and think about how you will hurt us!" she grabbed my arm. "How you will hurt Carlisle. You are the only person really related to him. Do you know what your death would mean, to him?"

I knew what she wasn't telling: _if you die, he will feel as if he had lost his family, even though he will still have us._

I sighed. "I will not lie to make you feel better and tell you that I won't do it. But I could change my mind. Mind you, I _could_. But you will know it before me." She let me go, smiling.

"Remember that I'll know it..." satisfied with herself, she left me alone.

I sighed again. Sooner or later, I should have talked with Carlisle.

_xXx  
_

_Bella_

Another sleepless night was ahead of me because of the mysterious vampire. I knew nothing about her. Only that her story was terrible, according to Edward. I wondered what could have happened to her. Once again, I wondered about her scar...

_xXx  
_

_Edward_

Alice told me that Bella had acted strange. My sister had expected a lot of questions from Bella, but, instead, she almost ignored her.

I was certain that she was really angry, I don't know if at me or Laguna, but I was really surprised by her behaviour. Not looking for answers? Not asking questions at Alice, knowing that her friend would have told her anything?

What was her plan?


	7. Chapter 7

**E****nglish is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

7

_Laguna_

I knocked at the door of Carlisle's study almost as if I was afraid of disturb him. Who knows? He could have been finding a way to save the world. I suppressed a laugh at the thought, then I heard his voice.

"Come in!"

I entered, hesitant, closing the door behind me. I stopped after two steps, hands shoved in my pockets, eyes shamefully low.

I was there to confess my intentions – not knowing if they still were a secret – and I was trying to find a way to start.

"Come, sit, don't stay there, on the door." He smiled at me from behind his desk, pointing at a chair. I smiled back – it was impossible not to – and sat.

Carlisle put his readings on the desk, folding his hands on the wood and looking at me in the eyes.

"Is something wrong? You look too worried..." he knew me so well that he noticed every slightest change in my expression. How could I have thought of deceiving him?

"Well..." I looked down, unable to meet his gaze, unable to face it. "I wanted to talk to you about my visit." Ok, you're half way through it, Laguna, you can do it. "It's not a coincidence. I..." I raised my eyes again to look at him. Carlisle didn't flinch, he was there, patiently waiting for me to speak. I drew a deep breath and went on. "Well... I've decided to die." Ok, I said it. I believed I would have felt better, after saying it, but, instead, I felt like I was sinking.

Carlisle lowered his eyes, looking at his hands, and sighed. I thought I saw a shadow of sadness in his eyes. Knowing I was the cause added other guilt to my conscience.

"I was right, then. When Alice told me you were coming, I've thought about this." He said, after a brief pause. For me, it was like an eternity had passed between my confession and his answer. "You miss _him_ very much, don't you?" he stood, pacing behind his desk.

"Yes, but it's not an excuse..." I started again. He silenced me raising his hand. I felt like a child waiting for Dad to find the right punishment for her misbehavior.

"Well, you could have thought about this earlier than now, no?" he smiled, then he was serious again. "But I know that this kind of reactions are not rational." He sighed again. "I won't try to stop you. I know that you have not been hasty in this decision. I trust you." He stopped beside me. "But I'll miss you." For the first time, I saw him avert his gaze from me. Good job, Lagu, right to the heart.

"Can I ask you a favor?" I asked, hesitant. He nodded. "You know my story, and how many human lives I've ended for money before and need after... please, forget all the pain I've put you and your family through, and... if you'll feel alone... remember me for who I was, and forget the Black Rose..." I stood, approaching him. "And... I'll miss you, too..." we hugged in silence.

"Do what you think it's right." He said.

"I'll try." I shrugged. "Would you, please, avoid telling Esme? I don't want to see her cry." I grimaced and he smiled.

"I won't tell." He returned behind his desk, while I reached the door.

When I was almost to my room, I remember something else I should have fixed: Bella.

She and Edward had fought because of me. I should have fixed everything before making my last choice. Before choosing between ultimate death and merely existing.

I reached Edward's door and knocked.

"Come in." His answer was so immediate that I wondered why I took the trouble of knocking. I obeyed, closing the door behind me. Edward was looking trough his CDs.

"I... I've just talked to Carlisle. I don't know what to think of his reaction." I said, my hands again in my pockets. "I... I didn't think it was... well... _fair_ to vanish without... are you listening to me?" I asked. He was so concentrated on his CDs that I thought he wasn't paying attention to me.

"I don't need to. While you are struggling with your mouth, I've already listened to your mind. You don't find fair to _die_, not to _vanish_, without a word." He turned towards me, half smiling. "And you think I should have a nice talk with Bella. Am I correct?"

"Why ask, if you already know the answer?" this time, it was my turn to smile. "It's not the first time you do this." Ok, I was laughing.

"True. But last time..." he laughed, too, not bothering to end the sentence. "What do you think I should do?" he was serious again, arms crossed over his abdomen.

"Well, you could reassure her about me. Obviously, you should avoid telling her about _that time_..." I suggested. "That's what you should do." I nodded. "Reassure her. Yes. Make her understand that I'm harmless." I nodded again.

"You, harmless? Are we talking about the same person? The same Laguna who has always a dagger in her boot and that, in three years, has killed over two hundred people?" he said, wanting it to sound ironic. It was a pity that his allusion to my past didn't make me laugh. Not even smile.

"You are not funny, Edward." I frowned. "Not a single bit." I turn my back at him, and moved for the door. "Go talk to Bella. Explain everything to your girlfriend." Before he could say a word, I was back in my room.

I hoped he didn't join me.

xXx

_Edward_

Without a word, I left her exit the room, without apologizing. I had said the wrong thing at the wrong moment. There are very few things of which Laguna doesn't want to talk about: her mother and how she died, the three years before meeting _him_ and, obviously, _him_.

I sighed and decided to follow her advice. I would have talked to Bella and explained everything. And I would have released her of some of her guilt. When she had none. It wasn't her fault if Bella was so insecure...

I left my room with a quick glance at her closed door. Later, I would have asked her forgiveness.

xXx

_Bella_

When I went to my room to retrieve my pajamas and go to the bathroom for a shower, Edward still wasn't there. I sighed, thinking that if he had avoided me during the day, he would have done so now, too. He had his _friend_, now...

When I went back to my room, after the shower, I found him there, waiting for me.

"Hi..." he said, rueful.

"Hi", I said, dry. "I wasn't waiting for you."

"Well... I have some explaining to do, right?" he asked, sitting on the rocking chair.

"You're right." I answered, sitting on the edge of the bed. "What is she, for you?" I asked, direct.

"We are friends, Bella. Like you and Jacob. It seems that Laguna annoys you like your friend unnerves me." The paragon was perfect.

"But Jake is harmless." I retorted.

"Laguna too." He said, serious. "Bella, listen to me for five minutes. I ask you only these five minutes, than you can decide." I nodded. He could have his five minutes. I wondered what he had to say. "Good. I'll try to be concise." He started to fidget. "When she was still human, in the first years of the fifteenth century, Laguna had a lover. When she was changed, he didn't leave her, but, like you, he asked her to change him. Needles to say that she tried to take time..." he took a pause. I understood why they had fought: maybe Laguna had asked him why he hadn't changed me yet. "But, one night, he was attacked by some men. A few days later, he died. And Laguna is still blaming herself for his death. She thinks that, if she hadn't lost so much time, he would have been alive, now." Another pause. I already knew what he was going to say: Laguna wanted to die. Once and for all.

"Edward..." I wanted to interrupt him, but he silenced me.

"Let me finish, Bella. Maybe we will pass less time together and make Charlie happy. I only ask you to understand... one of my closest friends wants to die. What would you do, if you were me?" he asked.

I stood, going to him. If I were him, I would have done the same.

"Do want you think it's right. I trust you." I hugged him.

"Thank you, Bella." He whispered, hugging me.

And then, I wasn't afraid anymore. I knew I didn't have any reasons to be.


	8. Chapter 8

**E****nglish is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

8

_Laguna_

I was sitting on the floor, embracing my knees, looking at the painting that I had left drying on the windowsill.

_The rose again_... Alice had said. _Will you ever forget the rose? _ was what _he_ always asked me.

"I can't forget the rose. I am the Rose." I wispered to the empty room, touching mechanically my right upper arm. Touching a tattoo I had been forced to do. The black rose.

Black Rose was the name that my group gave me. The name I had for three years. What did I have left of those years? A tattoo, a scar on the back of my neck, paintings and, when I was able to have them, nightmares. Too many nightmares.

I fell with my back on the floor and closed my eyes.

I was there again. I was still alive, my eyes were still blue, I still wore men's clothing – sometimes _his_ clothes – and _he _was sitting on the bed and watched me paint...

"_I don't like it." As soon as I hear him say it, I turn towards him. He is sitting on the bed, arms folded, head bent, legs crossed._

"_Why?" I simply asked, trying not to spill the color and stain the floor. Last time, I had to pay more for the room._

"_I don't like it. That's all. There is nothing to explain, it is clear enough..." he shakes his head, still sitting._

_I turn again towards my work, stepping a little back. "Maybe it is clear enough for you, but I don't understand. Explain." Again, I turn towards him. I leave the brush and the palette on the windowsill and come back to the easel. _

_Sighing, he stands, coming to me. "See... it's the subject." He sighs again, his hands on my shoulders. "I would like you to forget these things... I would like you to erase that part of your past, Lagu..." he continues in a low voice, bending to whisper in my ear._

_I lower my head, sighing. "I can't forget it, and you know it..." I feel his arms around me. I turn, my back to the easel and the canvas on which is painted a dark alley, with a decapitated body... and the head foreground. "I can't erase what I've done..." I shake my head against his chest. "I can't pretend it hasn't happened... I can't pretend I haven't been... _her_... I can't pretend the Rose doesn't exist!" I protest. "My past is real, and I have scars to prove it. I can't... you can't ask me to forget." I look into his eyes and then turn away. I hate to see that blue darkened by the weight of my past. I wondered why I didn't lie to him, why I'd chosen to tell him everything. The answer is simple, even to me: I love him, he wants to marry me. He deserves the truth. He deserves to _know_._

"_You didn't slept well, last night. Nightmares?" he asks, his hand moves slowly on my back. I nod without looking at him. "And now, here it is, on canvas, right?" I nod again. He sighs. "I'll get used to it." He smiles._

"_Maybe, sooner or later..." I say._

"_I think that if I can erase all these memory, the only thing that will be left will be you..."_

"_It will be hard."_

"_I'll try."_

"_And... what if you fail?" I ask, voice trembling._

"_I'll try again." I'm going to retort, but he silences me with a finger on my lips. "Shhh! Quit protesting." He smiles again and the shadow I had just seen in his eyes seems to vanish. "I'll keep trying until I succeed, I promise. I'm stubborn, you know it."_

I knew it.

I sat back again. I should have stopped evoking memories. It was useful with other people's memories, but it was perfectly useless, for me, to torture myself just to... just to hear his voice again.

I stood, looking at the pictures on the walls. Portraits of Sophia, Cory, Layla, Zacc, landscapes... and _him_. I only had to chose.

I stopped in front of the wall and stood there, looking at old wrinkled drawings.

_xXx_

_Bella_

"Do you have to go?" I asked him, before going to bed.

"Do you want me to?" he asked, perplexed. "Usually, you want me to stay".

"No! It's that... you've said we would have passed less time together... that you wanted to stay with Laguna, now that you could..." I shrugged. After the little he told me about her, I didn't hate her that much anymore. "You know... I would like to know her story. Do you think... do you think I could ask her?"

"Well... I could try asking for you..." he answered. "If, when I go home, she's not still angry at me... well, I'll risk."

"What did you do?" I sighed, smiling.

"Nothing... sleep, now. It's late. The fact the tomorrow is Saturday it's not an excuse." He ordered.

"Ok". I closed my eyes, waiting for him to take his place beside me.

_xXx_

_Edward_

Bella's alarm clocked was saying 4:30 am. I closed my eyed, the time made up no more by seconds, but by her breath and the beatings of her heart. Music, for my tired ears.

I didn't think that she would have understood. Or that she would have give up her hostility so easily. But since when she had done something I was expecting?

I caressed her hair, and she didn't seem to notice. For that night, she had been silent. No monologues. Again, a surprise.

She sighed and turned, while the first rays of a sun still low on the horizon seeped through the curtains.

I stood and, using the pen and paper that she had left on the desk, I wrote a message:

_You'll have your answers. I promise._


	9. Chapter 9

**E****nglish is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

_9_

_Laguna_

It was dawn when I left my room, trying to leave there the sadness of the night, and went to the living room, empty except for Emmett, that was laying on the couch, with a book.

"Oh no! The world is going to end! Emmett is reading a book!" I laughed, joining him.

"Even I read, from time to time..." he said, closing the book. Only then I noticed that it was upside down.

"Since when you read upside down?" I asked, with every intention of finding out what he was hiding.

"And since when you are so curious?" he said, sticking out his tongue.

"Ok, I give up!" I raised my hands, surrendering. "The others? Still upstairs?" I leaned on the arm of the couch, waiting for his answer.

"Yes. Except Edward, that is still at Bella's." Emmett sat up, pointing to the piano. "Why don't you play?"

I shook my head. "You know your brother. He'll kill me if I touch his baby."

"If he tries to kill you, blame me and don't worry." He smiled. "Please!" and then, he looked like an imploring little kid. And he knew that I couldn't help but do whatever he wanted. With a sigh, I went to the piano, and he laughed.

I touched lightly the keys, before playing. The door opened after a minute.

"_Für Elise..." _Edward's voice, still just inside the door.

"_My mother was playing that the day Georgie died"_, I answered. The puzzled look Emmett gave me made me smile. "Remind me to lend you It." He nodded, without convinction.

"Isn't it a tone too low?" Edward said, moving towards us.

"I like it that way." I answered, dry, standing. "I'll give you back your piano." I went past him, towards the stairs.

"I'm sorry." I was expecting him to stop me, grabbing my arm and forcing me to listen to him, instead of simply saying that he was sorry. There were still times when I mistake Edward for _him_.

"You just told the truth". I said, without turning, at the foot of the stairs. "You just reminded me of who I am, Edward." Calmly, I began to climb the stairs.

"Bella wants you to tell her your story." I stopped. If Bella was so curious, she could have asked Edward.

"You can do it for me, if you want." I turned to look at him. "You know how it would end, if I'll do it." _It would end with Bella going crazy..._

"She won't go crazy with your memories." Edward shook his head.

"Wait, Edward. Are you really sure that Bella could endure it? None of us was able to listen to all the story in one time..." said Emmett, raising from the couch. "Her memories are..." he stopped.

_What did you want to say? _

"I can't be the one to do it. It's your story. You have to be the one to do it." Edward insisted.

I sighed. "Ok. Bring her here. I'll think about it." I turned again and went upstairs.

Bella was crazy.

xXx

_Edward_

Laguna was right. Her memories weren't pleasant, and Bella could get hurt. That, if Laguna would have been able to enter her mind. So, maybe, Bella was safe.

Maybe.

I went to my room, trying to come up with something, with a way to take Bella here, with Charlie's approval.

I was laying on the couch, trying to think, when Alice entered the room.

"Still trying to find a way to take Bella here?" she asked.

"Yes, but..." I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Esme has an idea." I sat, motioning for Alice to continue. "We know that Charlie will never say no to Esme, especially if she organises something. So..." she sat on the floor. "We thought of asking Charlie to ask if Bella could came here for a little birthday party... Esme's birthday!" ok, this was impossible.

"Will it work?"

"Already done!" she smiled, standing. "I'm a genius, right?" she laughed.

"An evil genius, Alice."

xXX

_Bella _

The morning was almost gone. Edward had promised me some answers, but I was still wondering how.

The phone interrupted my wonderings. Charlie answered before I could go downstairs. After two steps, I stop, eavesdropping.

"Oh, hi Alice!" pause. "Mmh... you know she can't..." they were talking about me. "Really?" pause. "Well, if your mother insists..." pause. "I'm sorry, I can't..." pause. "Sure. Bella? Alice on the phone!" he shouted.

"Coming!" I went downstairs to answer. "Hello? Alice?"

"Good news! Charlie agreeded to let you come here later. It's Esme's birthday, remember?" she, then, lowered her voice. "Play along."

"Great! I'm really happy you've been able to convince him!" I said, with more emphasis that was required.

"I'll pick you up leter, ok?" she said, almost too loud, only for lowering again her voice and say: "You'll have your answers."

"Perfect. See you later, then." I answered, turning towards Chalie, with a big smile.

"See you later!" she hung up.

I did the same,and then I turned again towards my father. "Thanks, Dad. I promise I'll behave, and won't be late..."

Charlie nodded. "I know. Maybe it's time to give you back your freedom. Say hello to Esme for me." He smiled.

"Sure!" I ran upstairs.

The waiting was over.

* * *

_**A/N: **"My mother was playing that the day Georgie died"_ comes from Stephen King's book IT. Stuttering Bill hears the music and thinks about his brother's death, and the fact that his mother had played Für Elise that afternoon, just before Georgie's death.

see you next week


	10. Chapter 10

**This is a long chapter. Laguna tells Bella the story of her life, and it's not a pleasant story. And Laguna won't be kind to Bella (someone could say that she has never been kind to Bella...)**

**E****nglish is not my mother-language, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

10

_Laguna_

I was in my room, lying on the floor, one of the little pillows under my head. I was looking at the ceiling without really seeing it, thinking. Thinking about which parts of my story, of my _life_, I could tell Bella without making her run screaming. But, sadly, every memory was a piece of the puzzle, leaving even one out would mean that the picture wouldn't be complete. Not relating something wouldn't make Bella understand everything, _me_.

I heard the sound of the car. Alice was back. In five minutes, Bella would have been here, in my room, with Edward in tow.

I could hear Alice, Bella and Edward moving towards the stairs. Coming upstairs. Edward was first. Then, Bella. Alice was last. She stopped in her room, while Edward and Bella continued their way.

I sat as they opened the door.

"Sit wherever you want..." my voice was void of any expression. With my eyes on them, Bella sat on a pillow near me, and Edward sat behind her. "I hope Edward and Alice warned you that this would not be pleasant." She looked so fragile, so helpless, and with so much courage in her eyes.

"Alice has told me what you can do. I'm not afraid", she answered, very serious. "It seems that mental powers don't work on me." She admitted.

"We'll see if mine works, instead." I said, with a shrug. "Are you ready, Bella? Are you ready for a horrible story?"

"You can start." She answered, determined.

_Is it courage or recklessness? We'll see..._

"OK", I nodded. "I'll start from the very beginning, like I did with the others. I'll start with my mother. Are you OK with this?" I asked. She nodded. "OK..." I drew a deep breath and started...

"My mother was a prostitute, Bella. My conception was paid with a pendant and happened in a hovel. A few months after, my grandparents found my mother and made her marry my stepfather. But my mother met again her client. Exactly a year after I was born, my mother gave birth to my sister..." Bella looked puzzled.

"I know, the beginning is a little complicated, and I don't have many memories to try to show you."

"Continue, please", she asked, nodding.

"Well... my mother got married. My sister was born in secret and given to her... _our_ father's care. Two years later, my brother – or half-brother, you choose – Chris, was born. Edward, do you think I can show her, or do you think it is better if you tell this part?" I asked.

Edward shook his head. "We don't even know if she will see it. It's not a pleasant part of the story, but you should see what kind of movies are in the theaters..."

Bella was looking at me and Edward without understanding. "Laguna, go on. I want to risk."

"Ok." I resumed. "I was six, my mother and I were going home, when three men..." my voice failed me. More than six hundred years and it still hurt. "Three men dragged her in an alley, not far from home. They raped and killed her, while I watched." I stopped to study Bella: she paled.

"I... I can see it..." she stammered.

"I'm sorry." I removed the image from our minds. Bella sighed. "Not long after my mother's death, my stepfather remarried."

"Please, tell me that the rest of the story is better..." Bella pleaded.

I shook my head. "The worst is yet to come. Are you still sure?" I wasn't lying. I hoped she knew what she was doing.

"I'm sure. Go on." I saw her hold Edward's hand tighter.

_Bella, you're crazy. _

"Ok. If you're so sure..." I moved on my pillow. "My stepfather remarried. My stepmother didn't particularly like me. We can say that the feeling was mutual." I stood. "True, from time to time I did something annoying, but most of the times I've been punished only because I existed." I turned and raised my shirt, to show the scars I had on my back. "She liked to use a horsewhip." I covered my back, showing my punishments to Bella. I turned towards them, leaning with my back against the wall.

"When I was twelve, after discovering the truth about my mother, I ran from home. I stopped after a few days traveling northwards, tired. I was only twelve, and I had stolen a horse from Lord Blake's – my stepfather – stables." I stopped, waiting for a reaction. Both Edward and Bella nodded.

"I stopped, and wandered for a while, until I met three men and a boy. They were the men that killed my mother." I paused, to verify Bella's conditions. She was doing quite good, or so it seemed. "They took me with them, without imagining who I was. I don't think it was possible that they recognized me. I was just one of the many children that they had forced to look while their parents were being murdered or worse." I shook my head. "Well... in a few months I learned to be an assassin." I shrugged. I was trying to make it as painless as possible for Bella, trying to contain the emotions that went with the memories. It seemed to work. "Very soon, they gave me someone to kill. I'll move further, with your permission, Bella." I said, turning again.

"As you wish..." she answered, in a whisper. I nodded.

"I was fourteen. They started to sent me on my 'tasks' alone, without the boy, Eagle..." Bella was, once again, confused. "Well... every one of us had a nickname. The boy was Eagle, the men were Kite, Owl and Falcon. I was the Black Rose." I explained. "I have Eagle's mark on my back, you've seen it." I said, referring to the black eagle tattoo I had across my shoulders. Bella nodded. "Well, a night, I found them drunk." I sighed. "I'll be careful in showing you..." I close my eyes, not wanting to see Edward and Bella. "That was one of the worst nights of my life. They..." I was there again, I was fourteen again, held against the floor of a hovel by the men that killed my mother, the men that thought me how to kill. "For the following nights they established turns."

"Oh my God... it's..." Bella was speechless.

"And it's not over yet..." I opened my eyes. "Around a year later, when one of them got me pregnant, they did me this..." I showed Bella the scar I had on my belly, while Edward gentlemanly turned his head.

"So, I lost my child and the possibility of ever having another."

Bella lowered her eyes. Maybe it was starting to become too much. I realized that I didn't care. Not anymore. She wanted to know. And now, she was going to.

"Not long after that, I decided to rebel. I went into Eagle's room and killed him. Then, I ran. Before the others could find me, I tried to kill me." I raised the left sleeve, showing the scar that went from the wrist to the elbow. Edward was looking at me like he could kill me with one look only.

_She wanted this, Edward! She asked for the story!_

"A woman found me and cured me." I continued. "As soon as I could, I ran again. I arrived at London." I lowered my eyes.

_We are at the best part... when I think I can be happy._

"Go on, don't worry." Bella whispered. I was starting to suspect that there weren't many braincells left in that pretty head.

I sighed, again. "The first person I met in London was... _him_. It was a shame that, in that moment, he was with another woman." I smiled, with a shrug. Bella seemed to relax a little. "We became friends. One day, I decided to tell him what my feelings were. A few weeks after my confession, he was mine..." I sighed for the millionth time. I missed _him_. Too much.

"Well, don't relax too much." I smiled to Bella. "I had killed Eagle, but there were still the men. They were on my tracks, and they found me. My stepfather wrote to me to tell me that they had almost found me." Bella's eyes were wide, Edward smiled. "I told _him_ that I was going to kill them, and left, with the intentions of getting rid of them. And I succeeded." Bella smiled, and I smiled back.

"It seems that things are getting better, no?" she looked at me, a little worried. "Am I wrong?"

"Well... the calm before the storm, I suppose." I answered. "What do you think, Edward?" he knew the story, so he could give his opinion.

"I think you're right. Bella, we have just started." He answered, serious.

"Where were we? Oh, yes!" I started again with the story. "After I had killed the men, _he_ asked me to marry him. A few weeks later, I gave him back the ring." Bella's eyes were wide again. "The man that was 'comforting' the woman that _he_ had left for me had often tried to beat _him_. I felt like it was my fault. I thought that, leaving _him_, things would have gone better for _him_. Three days, and we were back together. _He _that it wasn't my fault, and that I didn't have to care." I paused again. It was a long story.

"We had many fights, mostly because of my past, because I couldn't stop being the Black Rose." I turned again, showing Bella the scar at the back of my neck. "Ax. The executioner almost got my head. Needless to say, I got his."

Bella paled again. She opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her.

"A few months passed, and _he_ was arrested. Things changed." I shook my head. "After _his_ release, we started fighting even more. We broke up. I gave _him_ back the ring".

Bella was looking at me like I had grown a second head.

"I... don't understand..." she had every right to be confused. I had just said that I gave _him_ back _his_ ring, the same ring I was still wearing.

"I haven't finished. That wasn't the last time I saw _him." _I smiled to her. "I left for a few months. When I went back to London, I met another man. After a month, we left together. But leaving, and living, together, wasn't a good idea." I stood again, pacing the room. I was still containing the emotions. Irrationally, I wanted Bella to feel everything, make her feel how was it like to be me, but I knew how much this would hurt Edward. And I didn't want to hurt him anymore that I already did.

"He wanted a family, and I couldn't give him one. I ended alone, again." I sighed. "I went back to London, and I started drawing." I pointed to the drawings on the walls. "Some of these are very old." I smiled. "After two years, _he_ came back, saying that he wanted to stay and that he wanted me. _He _gave me the ring back." I said, with a shrug. "I could stop here, but I won't." I sat again. Bella leaned forward, curious.

"I told _him_ about the other man, we fought but _he _stayed." I lowered my voice. "We decided that paying for two rooms was useless, so we started sharing the room and the bed." Bella shivered, and I knew why. I grinned, looking at Edward. "One day, I met my maker." I paused again. I needed a second to reorder the memories. I drew a deep breath and started again.

"When I went back to the inn, a few months later, I found Sophia, a friend of ours, that was trying to stop _him_ from doing something stupid, telling _him_ that I would be back. And so it was, I was there, I was back. _He_ tried to slap me, but I stopped _him_. _He_ had been afraid for me..." I lowered my voice again. "_He _was right."

Bella sobbed. Ignoring her tears, I went on.

"I tried to explain to _him_ what I knew about what I was, what I am. I thought _he_ would have left. But _he_ didn't." I shook my head. "_He _stayed even though the Three Moons were back." my voice was so low that Bella leaned even forward to hear. "The Moons were three men with a black cloak and a crescent on their foreheads. One of them was my maker. Ok, back to the story..." Bella found a more comfortable position and I resumed.

"They were back. I didn't knew what to expect, until one of them wounded _him_." I tried to contain my anger. "_He_ had always asked me to change _him_. _He_ asked even on his deathbed." I stood again, moving towards the window. "What came next is not important. I left the room at the inn, found something similar to a home, and acted almost like a guardian for my sister and her family. Carlisle is Cory's last descendant."

Bella stood, and so did Edward.

"I'm sorry..." her voice was low.

_You're sorry... tsk! Your life is so perfect... your being sorry is an insult!_

_xXx_

_Edward_

Laguna tried to moderate her emotions. She had needed all her stregth to do so. Maybe it would have been better if we had had Jasper with us...

Even though I already knew the story, every part was still hard for me. Bella seemed impassible. Maybe it had been too much for her to bear. I noticed every internal comment Laguna made. I hoped that Bella was smart enough to not say that she was sorry. But she said it. And it was a terrible mistake.

xXx

_Bella_

That story was terrible. Edward had been right.

"I'm sorry..."

I shouldn't have said it. Laguna turned, angry.

"You're sorry? And for what? What do _you_ should be sorry for? Forcing me to remember _everything_? You know? I jumped the worst part, little girl, to not hurt you more. Do you know how does it feel to lose the person you love?" she asked.

I had half an idea about it, but didn't dare say anything.

"Don't think what you felt after Edward left you is the same thing. I respect your sorrow, but..." she grabbed my wrists, pulling me towards her "...this is _mine_. Do you want to know how does it feel to watch the only person you've ever loved dying before your eyes?"

I lost myself in her eyes. And in her sorrow.

_A dark room, lit by candles. A woman is crying near the window. She's beautiful. Her fair hair are shining in the candlelight. Her body is perfect. Her green eyes are looking at me past her tears._

_My throat is tight. I want to cry, but I don't have tears. I feel useless. I feel empty. I've never felt so dead before._

"_Lagu..." his voice, barely a whisper. So feeble, only I can hear him. I run at the bed, to him that wants me – a _monster - _beside him. I'm not breathing, the smell of his blood is too strong to not tempt my thirst._

"_I'm here..." I take his hand, sitting beside him on the bed. His hand is cold. He's dying._

"_I'm dying, right?" he asks, blue eyes unfocused._

"_No", I lie, touching his cheek. "I wouldn't let you."_

"_So why your skin doesn't feel cold?" he grabs my wrist. It doesn't seem that he's suffering because of his wounds, because of the Moons. Because of me._

"_I..." I try to find an explanation, but I fail. I look away._

"_Kiss me. For the last time. For real. Like before." His request is inconceivable. I could hurt him. I could _kill_ him. But... but I kiss him. And I would like to keep him alive with that kiss._

_When I draw back, the breath that he, smiling, exhales on my lips, is his last._

_For me, the world has just fallen. I fall on my knees, crying without tears, while Sophia comes near me, sobbing, mourning her friend. My love._

_Time stops. His heart will be the lullaby of my sleepless nights no more._

_He's gone._

_I have no reason to survive anymore..._

I fell to my knees and everything went black.


	11. Chapter 11

**This is the last chapter with only three "voices". From the next, we have four narrators. **

**The parts in **_**italic**_** are memories, as usual. **

**E****nglish is not my mother-language, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

11

_Laguna_

Edward brought Bella in his room, to lay her on the couch. The girl had been brave, and remained impassible through all my story, only to faint at _his _death.

Had it been too much? Did I want to hurt her? Perhaps. But, if I really wanted to hurt her, I would have shown her something else. I would have shown her why I had been a stranger to my own family for the last ten years. I would have shown her what happened that night between me and her beloved vampire.

I had been right thinking that I shouldn't have left Edward touch my scars. I knew where it would have lead us. Six hundred years alone are too much.

I shook my head, with no intentions of thinking about it. Not now.

Especially not now that Edward was coming in my room, face hard, furious for what I did to his Bella.

"She wanted it, Edward." I said, without turning towards him, still leaning to the window.

"How can you say that? You unleashed your worst memory on her!" he grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to face him. Furious was an understatement. If he could, he would have beheaded me bite after bite. "A memory that is too painful even for you..." he said, lowering his voice.

I couldn't live again that night without feeling too much pain, either. He was right.

"Thank your God I wasn't too angry, kid. Or else I would have shown her something else..." I said, freeing from his grip.

Edward sighed. "The memory was incomplete, wasn't it? You didn't show her when you ran from the inn, when you found the Moons waiting for you... why?" he asked, serious, a muscle twitching in his face. Was he trying not to punch me? Who was I to say I didn't deserve it?

"It's none of your business, Edward." I said, voice dry, passing him. "Leave me alone!" I left the room, going for the stairs. I expected him to follow me, but I managed to reach the empty first floor. Everybody must have been with Bella. For the first time in my life with them, I felt like a monster.

I checked my shoelaces, not wanting to trip by accident, opened the door and started to run.

Running was all that mattered.

Get as far away as possible.

Away from everything and everyone.

"_Will you run again?" he asks, laying beside me._

"_I don't know". I sigh, trying to turn in a bed that is too little for two people. I am able to find what seems to be a comfortable position and look at him. The candle is almost consumed, and the trembling flame makes every shadow in the room seem bigger with her feeble light, caressing his body, covered only by a sheet, shining in his long dark hair._

"_I ask this one more time... will you run again?" he asks again, looking at me, serious._

"_No."_

_He turns and blows out the candle._

I continued running, without knowing where I was going. Without wanting to stop. Running to the end of the world. Just running.

Running away.

I stopped suddenly. I was in the middle of nowhere. There were trees everywhere. I made a few more steps and then I let myself fall on my back on the grass, eyes to the green ceiling made of branches and leaves.

"_Stop it!" I laugh, laying on the grass._

"_Why should I?" he's laughing, too, laying on his side beside me. "Does it annoy you?" he asks, still laughing and moving a flower up and down my nose._

"_Yes!" I protest, still laughing._

"_Sorry to hear it." He answers, dropping the flower on the grass. "Better?" he asks, touching lightly my cheek with his fingers._

"_Much better..." I smile._

Gone are the days when I thought my world was in those eyes.

Gone are the days when I thought everything would end up well.

Now, my world had ended. The certainty that everything will end up well was gone. Everything was gone that night...

_His heart will be the lullaby of my sleepless nights no more._

_Sophia is still beside the bed, crying. She doesn't know how much I envy her for this. She doesn't know how much I wish I was able to cry._

_I stand. She turns towards me, looking at me, tears running down her face._

"_What... what are you going to do, Lagu?" she asks, her voice shaking._

"_I'm going to find them, Sophia. They will pay for it." Contrary to Sophia's voice, mine isn't shaking. I clench my fists and turn away. "I want to ask you a favor. Take care of everything. I won't be back." __my words sound like a prophecy._

_Sophia knows I am serious. I had two reasons for not coming back: the first is that my existence has no meaning anymore, the second is that, maybe, I would have died that night. For real._

_My friend doesn't stop me. She lets me leave the room. Strangely, she still has some faith in me._

_Almost running, I leave the inn, and then I run to the dock._

_I know, or maybe I just hope, that I'll find them there._

_I am not disappointed._

_In the dark, I can see them._

"_Poor child... he is dead, isn't he?" the first voice seems sad._

"_Poor, poor child..." the second seems to make fun of me._

"_All that blood... it's a waste. Why didn't you drink it? What is sweetest for a vampire that the blood of her beloved?" the third is really making fun of me._

"_You... you'll pay for it!" I grow. The dock is desert. No couples for a moonlit stroll, nobody trying to commit suicide by jumping in the river, no traffic, no guards. Just us._

_The Moons laugh. And it creeps me._

"_And... how do you think you can avenge your lost love?" the first asks._

"_You think you can kill us?" the second says._

"_You're just a child, comparing to us." The third concludes._

_It doesn't matter for me. It doesn't matter that I have just turned twenty and they are at least four hundred. They have to pay for killing him. He was all I had._

_I dash towards them, seeking vengeance for his death. Or, maybe, seeking only my own death._

I stood. I had decided.

Six hundred years ago.

xXx

_Edward_

We were in my room.

Bella was on the couch, still unconscious. The memory Laguna unleashed to her was the worst, and I didn't hesitate to tell her.

I thought about the time when she made me see it. I didn't react well either, but not having the possibility to faint...

Esme was sitting beside Bella, holding her hand. I was still wondering why Laguna didn't make Bella see the fight with the Moons.

Then I remembered: the fight almost got her killed.

Bella started moving: she was waking.

_xXx_

_Bella_

I blinked a few times. I could still see those images, that pain... so strong... the feeling of being just an empty shell as soon as I heard his heart stop beating... Laguna was right. My sorrow was a joke in comparison.

Slowly, I sat up. I was in Edward's room and all the family was there. Esme was the closest.

"You are awake." She smiled. "Are you OK?"

I nodded. "It was..." I started. Edward silenced me.

"We know it. We know the story... even details she didn't show you..." he said.

"Why did she do it? Why was she so angry at me? Have I done something wrong?" I asked, looking at each of them. They were all looking at the floor. "Edward..."

"Laguna doesn't want people to pity her for her story." Carlisle said. "You said you were sorry, and we've seen how she reacted."

I lowered my eyes. I hadn't had the slightest intention to unnerve her.

"Where is she, now? Still in her room?" I asked.

Edward shook his head. "No. She left, but don't ask me where..." he didn't end his sentence, but turn to look at Alice, who had her mouth covered with both her hands.

"She... she has decided..." she stammered, eyes open wide.

I didn't even notice Carlisle leaving. I just heard the door of Edward's room slamming, followed, not long after, by another door, maybe his study.

"She told me she would have thought about it... that she wouldn't do it..." Alice protested, half-whispering.

"She may have changed her mind." Edward answered to her ramblings.

"What's going on? What has she decided, and why did Carlisle..." Esme inquired.

"Laguna wants to die." I answered.

The decision was made.


	12. Chapter 12

**In this chapter, like I said last week, we'll have four narrators: Laguna, Edward, Bella and an 'anonymus' voice. I would like to know your guesses.**

**OK, see you next week, same day and time. **

**E****nglish is not my mother-language, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

12

_Laguna_

I stood. The decision was made. I would have done it. I needed only the time to organize everything and I would have left.

I would have left everything and everyone to find my death.

Slowly, I started to walk back home, hands in my pockets, thinking about stupid things, like what color the jeans I was wearing were – dark blue or indigo? – and if the grass had left a stain. But that was the last of my problems.

Suddenly something cold hit my cheek, sliding down. One, two, three times.

It was raining.

"Perfect..." I muttered, bending at the shoulders, still walking at human speed. I could have run, but I still needed to be alone. Or, maybe, I just wanted to wait until someone took Bella home.

It wasn't that I disliked her. On the contrary, I was thankful for what she had done to Edward. I liked her, really. But I didn't want to see her. Not after what I'd done her.

Sighing, ignoring the rain, I wandered through the forest. I hoped nobody was looking for me. I was positive they knew the decision was final. Alice must have seen it.

_I could change my mind. Mind you, I _could... I had told her. I didn't change my mind.

Absentmindedly, I started whistling my mother's lullaby. I didn't even remember the last time I did it, the last person who heard it. Cory's son? His children? Their children? Of how many generations I had been the nightly watcher? How many of them I had wished could have made me feel like I still had a family? But I never chose someone. I wanted a familiar face, not a stranger with a few drops of my blood. That's why I chose Carlisle. He looked like Cory. Like my sister.

I sighed again. How much would I hurt him with my decision? According to Alice, very much.

I didn't wanted to, really. But I had no choice. I couldn't keep the promise I made to _him_ the night _he_ died. _He _asked me to live, to be happy, but I couldn't. I had tried, really tried, for all those years. I had tried for my family. But now... now it was too hard.

I was soaking wet, my clothes were like a – very wet – second skin. The rain was like tears on my face.

"It looks like you're crying..." a familiar voice said, not distant from me. A voice that, notwithstanding the words, was loaded with anger.

"I never cry." I retorted, lying. How many times did I cry for _him_? "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I was looking for you." He was hurt. And it was my fault. Alice knew. They all knew. He stepped closer. I had never seen him so angry. Well, I had never seen him angry.

"I'm not lost." I said, crossing my arms, stopping. We were a few steps from each other.

"I know." He said, dry. "I only wanted to know where you were. Am I not allowed to worry about you?" he asked, leaning against a tree.

I lowered my eyes, uncrossing my arms. "You said you wouldn't try to stop me..." I whined.

"And I won't. But you know I don't agree with you." He continued. If he was trying to make me change my mind – again – he was wasting his time. "I'm afraid." He said, surprising me.

I looked at him. "Of what? I'll be the one who will die!"

"What will I have left, after?" he asked.

"Your family." I answered, without even thinking about it. "You have Esme, the kids. You'll move on." I started walking again, passing him.

"Stay. Stay and become family."

"I can't." I said, without turning back to face him. "I'm not that strong, Carlisle. I'm not perfect, I've never been. I can't forget all the pain... you've learned to hide it..." I turned towards him, and I wanted to yell, but I didn't. "I can't pretend that someone could come and save me from myself... I can't be like you!"

Before he could say something, I started to run.

_xXx_

_Edward_

The room was empty, except for me, Bella and Alice.

Bella was sitting on the couch, Alice was beside her. I wanted to be alone and Bella needed to go home.

"Alice... could you please take Bella home?" the words left my mouth before I could even think them.

"Edward..." I hoped Bella wasn't starting to protest. "It... it doesn't matter if you don't feel like coming, later..." Bella said.

I smiled, thankful. She was perfect. I kissed her. "Thank you."

Ten minutes after she and Alice had left, I left the room, too.

_xXx_

_Bella_

In the car, Alice was being strangely silent. I didn't dare saying anything. I had a million questions, but I feared to ask, so I just watched the road, without really seeing it.

"Edward is really close to Laguna... he must have told you..." Alice broke the silence.

"Yes, he told me about the first years..." I said, thinking about what Edward had told me.

"She's like a sister, to him..." then she lowered her voice. "He cares for her like he cares for us, even more..."

Those words sent a shiver down my spine. He cared for her more than he cared about his siblings? More than he cared about... _me_?

Alice seemed to notice. "Don't worry. You come first." She smiled. "We thought he was going to rip her head off, after you fainted." Her smile grew while she parked.

I felt better. Then I wandered how Laguna's decision could affect him.

I was afraid again. Pain makes people do stupid things. I hoped it wasn't the case.

How long have I been looking for you? I didn't know. I had stopped counting the nights I couldn't have you with me.

I jumped the little gate that was the entrance to the yard. I walked on the little gravel driveway that led to the steps to your purple front door.

_So perfectly you..._ I thought, looking for the key, finding it behind a pot.

I opened the door and entered. The stairs were right in front of me. I climbed them, two steps at a time, dying to know.

To know what you have done without me.

After a few steps in the hallway, I found a room with the door ajar. I opened it and I was presented with what I thought was your favorite room.

_Your study_... I thought, entering the room.

The windows had dark curtains. An easel was in the center of the room, empty. A few albums were scattered here and there, in your usual chaos. And then, shelves with pictures.

I swallowed my anger.

In one, you were with a blonde guy. In the next, with the same guy and a woman. Then, you and some guys. You smiled, in those pictures. Happy.

I calmed down. I was moving away from the shelves, when I saw another picture.

You, again. With the arms of a red-haired boy wrapped around you.

I took the picture and its frame and I threw it on the floor, breaking the glass. Then, I stepped on it. I turned abruptly and went back downstairs.

My quest wasn't over yet.

But I would have found you, sooner or later.


	13. Chapter 13

**Here we are! **

**We still have the four voices (Laguna, Bella, Edward and our anonymous).**

**Anyone trying to guess who he is? (Don't worry, this is the last chapter in which he remains anonymous. In the next, though I won't say his name, you'll know who he is.)**

**Ok, see you next week!**

**E****nglish is not my mother-language, so, maybe, I made some mistake. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

13

_Laguna_

It was still raining. I was walking slowly, with nowhere to go, hoping that Carlisle wasn't still on my tracks.

I was lost in thoughts and memories, when I noticed I was near the house. I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to see them. I couldn't face them.

I was starting to go away again, when something hit me: it was Esme's hand.

"What the hell..." I started, touching my face. She had slapped me!

"Shut up! Or I'll slap you again." She threatened me. She was angry and I knew exactly why. She didn't agree with me, and the reason of her anger wasn't my decision but the effect it had on Carlisle. "How can you do this?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Esme... please, I don't want to talk about it. Not now." I started to move, but the way she was looking at me stopped me.

"When? When did you wanted to tell us? This should have been your farewell?" she asked.

I didn't know what to say or do. Every word... anything could have made things worse. I lowered my eyes and muttered "I'm sorry..."

"You're sorry?" she was even angrier. "You have no idea of what this means to us! You... you've always been there... if you go..." she stopped, lowering her eyes. I fought the urge to hug her.

"You don't need me." I whispered. It was the only thought I had that made sense. And it was true. They didn't need me. And I wanted to stop trying to be alive.

"You can't say this..." she answered, her eyes into mine. "It's not true, you know we need you! We are a family, we need each other. And you are part of the number." She said, apparently not angry anymore.

I sighed. "Carlisle has just told me the same thing. He asked me to be part of the family. I refused." I shook my head. "I can't..." I moved closer to her, my head on her shoulder. "Forgive me, if you can..." she hugged me.

"I'll try..." she whispered.

_xXx  
_

_Bella_

It was dark outside, and I was in my room. Charlie didn't ask about Esme's birthday.

I sat on my bed in the dark, looking the rain without really seeing it.

I was thinking about Laguna.

Her life had not been pleasant and, when she had believed to have found something to live for, she had seen death take it away from her.

The memory she forced me to see came again to my mind, and with it her pain. I wondered how she could have been able to bear it until now.

I went to sleep, without hope to see Edward. If those were Laguna's last days, he would have wanted to stay with her. I sighed, closing my eyes. I had nothing to fear.

Right?

_xXx  
_

_Edward_

I didn't know why, but when Bella and Alice left, I went into Laguna's room.

Without thinking, I started looking the drawings Alice and Esme had hung on the walls. They were windows on the past, different views of London through the centuries. There were a lot of portraits, more or less the same faces: Sophia and Layla, Laguna's best friends; her sister, Cory; and Zacc. And then, there were _his_ portraits. They were so many that it was impossible to count them. And they weren't even all in this room. A lot were in one of the houses in London. Others had been destroyed by Zacc.

I studied _his _features. I couldn't say if that was the way Laguna saw _him, _but it was impossible not to be attracted by one of the portraits.

In many of them, _he_ was smiling and, given the look in _his _eyes, the smiles were real. _He _was happy. Maybe, happy of receiving so many attention from her. Probably,he was a man that, behind the mask of a strong and hard man, hid the soul of a child. And I could read it in those eyes, grey on paper, but that I knew to be blue. The eyes of a man that loved Laguna more than his own life.

* * *

xXx

I went back to take that picture, and now I was studying it.

You and that boy, sitting on the steps of a porch, he was sitting behind you, his chin on your shoulder. He was hugging you, and you had your arms on his. Both of you were laughing, and I knew you well enough to know you were smiling for real. You weren't smiling for the camera, no... you were smiling because you were happy.

Happy without me!

That thought started to dig inside me, slow like a drop of water that digs the rock, tearing it calmly, but deeply.

I was suffering because of you, again. Because you were in the arms of someone else. Someone that wasn't me.

I would found you. Both of you. I would found out who the hell he was. And who he was for you.

I would have found out the relationship between that red-haired boy and my woman.


	14. Chapter 14

**Here we are! **

**I'm terribly sorry! University is killing me (or, at least, my French professors... ugh!)**

**We still have the four voices (Laguna, Bella, Edward and our anonymous).**

**And... this is the last time that our anonymous voice is still anonymous. Let's see if you guessed correctly!**

**Ok, see you next time! I hope soon. **

**English is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistakes. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

_Laguna_

After a long chat with Esme, Carlisle and the kids – minus Edward – I went back to my room.

They had – almost – accepted my decision. They didn't agree, but they knew I wouldn't have changed my mind. Not again.

I entered in the room that would have been mine for a few days more, and I wasn't surprised of founding Edward, looking at _his_ portraits.

I couldn't say if he noticed my entrance, but he didn't stop looking at the wall for a second.

"If he was here, he would ask you what are you staring at..." I interrupted his thinking. Edward turned towards me, and I forced a weak smile.

"You think?" he asked in response, staring again at the wall and the pictures. "Was he like this, or is it just your point of view?" he asked, pointing to a portrait.

"Alex was exactly like this." I answered. Saying his name, after all that time, sent a shiver down my spine and froze my heart. I felt Edward's arm on my shoulder, moving me towards him.

"I can understand." He murmured.

"I know."

_xXx_

_Edward_

We sat on the floor, me pointing to portraits of Alex and her telling me the story behind them;

Alex... she had always forbidden me to say his name. She had always forbidden _us_ to say his name. Did we owe this change of mind to her choice? I didn't want to know.

"Edward?" she turned towards me, interrupting a tale.

"Yes?" I turned toward her. She was up to something, but she wasn't letting me into her head.

"I want to apologize to Bella... do you think I can?" she asked, looking like a scared child. And I saw something I thought I would have never see. I saw the girl she was, fragile, insecure, the girl Alex fell in love with, the girl he left, the girl to who he had to come back. I smiled, standing.

"Let's go and see." I said. She took the hand that I was offering her, and smiled back.

_xXx_

_Bella_

A noise woke me up in the middle of the night.

Someone was coming into the room through the window. In the dark, two figures were approaching my bed.

"She's sleeping..." one whispered. "We should come back in the morning..." the figure started to move toward the window.

"Wait..." the other said. "She's pretending to be asleep." My nightly visitor chuckled. "You are a terrible actress, Bella."

I didn't need turn on the light to recognize Edward, but I wanted to know who was with him. As soon as the light was on, I was surprised to see Laguna.

"Ehm... hi, Bella... sorry to come here, in the middle of the night... I have told Edward to wait until tomorrow morning... but you know him..." she said, her eyes glued to the floor.

I sat up, motioning for them to sit somewhere. Edward sat on the rocking chair, while Laguna at the desk.

"Don't worry." I smiled to her, and she seemed to relax. "Why are you here?" I asked.

"Well..." she started again. "See... I wanted to apologize for my behavior... I overreacted..." she was stumbling with her words, maybe she wasn't used to say she was sorry. Something convinced me that she was really sorry.

"Well..." I interrupted her. "It was my fault, too. I shouldn't have said that I was sorry." I shrugged, smiling. "Let's pretend nothing happened, ok?" I asked, and she smiled happily. Even Edward was surprised of my reaction. What was wrong in not wanting her to feel even more sorry?

"Thanks, Bella. You have no idea of how much this means to me..." she said, standing and moving again toward the window. "I'll go home, now." She smiled again. "I leave you two alone."

Without giving me the time to say anything, she disappeared into the dark.

_xXx_

I was in a hideous motel room. I didn't even bother to undress before falling on the bed. I only wanted the humans in the other rooms to think I was asleep, so I made the bed creak for a little while and then I let the silence fall, at least on my part. I could hear the incessant noise of the bed and the heavy breathing of the whore and her client next door. Hell, even if my hearing was that of a human I could have still been able to hear them.

I closed my eyes only to reopen them a second later. I put a hand in the pocket of my black leather jacket and took the picture I had stolen from your house. I was mesmerized by that picture. I couldn't help but watch it.

You were happy. I wondered how that could have been possible. You, happy with someone else. Then, my selfishness and anger subsided. You were happy. That was all that mattered. You had moved on. Like I asked you to.

But... there was a piece missing from that puzzle. I closed my eyes again, trying to remember...

_I open my eyes in my room. I have no idea of how much time has passed since last time I did it. I feel like I have been to hell and back._

_I sit up on the back, looking for you. But you're not here. There are two people in the room. Sophia and a man. Claude De la Croix. Wonderful. He looks sort of strange. I have not forgotten your words. One of the Moons had changed you, but Claude De la Croix ordered it. Claude De la Croix. An artist, like you. _

"_Sophia..." my voice is hoarse, my throat dry. I'm thirsty. Too thirsty. Unexpected, I hear a heartbeat. I smell blood. Sophia. Poor, sweet Sophia! Once again in danger. Once again in the same room with someone who would like to drink your noble blood. But... I... how?_

"_Alex..." Sophia starts to move closer, when De la Croix stops her._

"_Miss Sophia, right now he is not able to stand your presence. My friend, if you can, don't breathe. You'll avoid hurting your gracious friend." He says, trying to be kind._

_It's easy to not breath. I nod, to say that Sophia is safe._

"_Good. You surely are wondering what happened to you..." he says._

"_I know what happened. I only wonder how." I answer, dry._

"_Your __beloved __is __one__ of __my _protégées_.__ I__'__m__ sure __you __know__ I __ordered __her __changing.__" __De __la __Croix__ looks __at __the __easel, __in __the__ corner __of __the __room.__ "__Such __a __beautiful __hand __should __have__ been __saved __from__ the __grave,__ don__'__t __you __think?__" __he__ asks.__Without __waiting __for __an __answer,__he __continues.__ "__Your __sweet __friend, __here, __told __me__ you__ asked __my __child __a __last __kiss, __while __you__ felt __death__'__s__ cold __hand__ approaching, __am__ I __right?__"_

"_Yes.__" __I __confirmed.__ "__I __would __like __you __to __not __speak __of __my __woman __in __such__ terms,__ if __you__ can.__" __Let__'__s __make __things__ clear. __You __made __her __a __vampire, __but __she __is _mine_._

_He smiled. "Sure. I understand."_

"_Where is she?" I asked. "Now, where is she?"_

"_Alex... we thought you were dead... she..." Sophia is struggling with her words. I stiffen. If they thought I was dead, surely she had tried to avenge me. She had gone seeking for the Moons._

_I look at Sophia, with the hope of being wrong. "Please, tell me that nothing happened to her... please..."_

_She shakes her head. "I don't know... she didn't come back... I'm sorry, Alex..."_

_It couldn't have happened. Not to her. Not to us._

"_Don't worry, my friend." De la Croix says. "Nothing happened to her. I would feel it, she is one of my creatures." He tries to reassure me. "Isn't it lovely? Your beloved that seeks vengeance for your death, and you are not entirely dead! And you, saved by a kiss... her teeth just grazed you, barely a scratch, and her poison has quickly infected you, thanks to the furious beating of your dying heart!" he explained, laughing._

_Sure, lovely... but where were you, my sweet black rose?_

You wanted to avenge my death. You almost killed yourself, that night, because you thought I was dead. And now... now I was seeing you smiling in the arms of someone else. What had happened in the last six hundred years? Who was that guy?

I had a lot of questions, and I knew who had the answers: the Moons.

I was going to know who he was.

It was time to take back what was mine.


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok, here we are again!**

**I'm curious: has any of you thought it was Alex? I'd like to know your guesses :) **

**this chapter is short, but chapter 16 should be a little longer (or, at least, so it seems), and you will start to hate me with chapter 17, I already know :) **

**See you next time! I hope soon. **

**English is not my mother-language, so, maybe, I made some mistakes. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

_Laguna_

I remained in my room for the rest of the night, lying on the floor, eyes closed, thinking about nothing.

I opened my eyes, sitting up, just as the first rays of a timid sun hit my face.

I changed into clean clothes and went downstairs, almost running, without even knowing why. There was something in the air, a smell I wasn't able to explain and that wasn't there the night before. It was familiar, pleasant, but I couldn't come up with an explanation that made sense. The only thing that came to my mind was: Alex is here. But it wasn't possible. Alex was dead.

And yet I had a strange feeling. Something was going to happen.

_xXx_

_Edward_

I was still with Bella, and she was still sleeping. Suddenly, my phone started to buzz in my pocket. I answered, not wanting Bella to be annoyed by the noise. I worried a little when I saw Alice's name on the display.

"What?" I whispered, nervous.

"Maybe it's better if you stay where you are and don't come home, Edward..." Alice's voice betrayed alarm. She was terrified by something.

"Why? Have you seen something...?"

"Something not pleasant, Edward. He'll kill you, if he finds you!" she was even more afraid. And I was starting to get angry. Was it possible to have an answer that made sense?

"Who wants to kill me this time, Alice?" I asked, sounding like an adult trying to make a child explain where the boogeyman is.

"_Him_. _He__'_s coming here." Alice hung up without giving me time to reply.

_Him_. Alex. Someone that died six hundred years ago was coming to kill me.

Alice had to be wrong. But...

_xXx_

_Bella_

I woke when the sun was already high behind the clouds.

"Sorry, I couldn't find the strength to wake you." Edward, sitting on the rocking chair, smiled. "Charlie has already left. And maybe I'll stay here until he comes back."

It was my lucky day.

"To what do I owe the honor?" I smiled, but he became serious.

"A call from Alice... a vision of which I didn't understand much... she thinks _he _is looking for me, and not with friendship in _his _mind..." he shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. I worried immediately.

"Edward... but... he was dead, wasn't he?" I asked.

"Exactly. Alice must be wrong." He smiled, but not for real.

"Yeah, sure." I didn't buy it.

I wanted to go to his house, and see if I could get some more answers. Alice could have been wrong, but better to be safe than sorry, no?

_xXX_

_Alex_

The Moons gave me the answers I was looking for. I found out his name. And where to find him.

After six hundred years of searching in vain, this time I was close, very close, to finding her.

I found out that the blond guy was some sort of a distant descendant of Cory. That explained the resemblance between him and the blond pestiferous little girl. I smiled thinking about her. She didn't like me at first, but she changed her mind with time. She even cried at my fake funeral.

The other people in the pictures were Blondie's wife and their 'children', almost all of them changed by him. So, she and the red-haired boy were not relatives, not by blood. It could mean anything and nothing. I could be wrong, and they could be just friends, or I could be right and he had taken my place. Yes, six hundred years were too much to be still so possessive... but I would have tried.

I stopped my bike in front of a huge white house. I reached the door, with the intention of knocking and introduce myself, before asking for Laguna. I didn't even know if she was really there. I was trying.

The door was open, and I found, waiting, the blond guy of the picture. He had a warm look on his face. They knew I was coming.

"I was waiting for you, Alex." His voice was low, like he didn't want to be overheard. "I think you know my name." He added.

I nodded. "I know who you are. You are Carlisle, she's sort of your great-aunt". I was talking about Laguna, and he seemed to understand it. He nodded.

"She's upstairs. Would you mind following me to my study?" we entered what I thought was the living room. I didn't lose time looking at the furniture, I just nodded and followed him, my mind fixed on one thing: she's here, you've found her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ok, here we are again!**

**I'm sorry, I'm late again! I don't know if any of you, me dear readers (hellooooo! Is there anybody? Are you still with me? :p ) is Italian or is familiar with the italian university system, but, believe me, is Hell. **

**So, back on the story. Alex is finally here, he has finally found Laguna. **

**See you soon, hoping it to be soon for real. **

**English is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistakes. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

16

_Laguna_

When I reached the living room, everyone but Edward and Carlisle was there. I justified Edward's absence, I knew he was still with Bella, but not seeing Carlisle seemed strange.

"Hi guys." I said, when I reached the couch. Their tense expressions weren't something I was expecting. And there was that smell, that feeling...

"Hi Laguna". Esme smiled, the only one that paid me some sort of attention. "Feeling better, today?"

"Actually, on the alert... something's going on..." I sat beside her. "There's this familiar smell in the air, but it's impossible, it must be my mind." I shrugged. "And I have a bad feeling..." again, their faces tensed even more. "Where's Carlisle?" I asked.

The others looked at each other, wondering if they could answer. Nobody spoke.

"Alice? Rose? Jazz? Emm?" I looked at them, but they looked away. "Esme, what's going on?" I stood.

"Calm down." Carlisle's voice, coming from the stair, reached me. "Come to my study."

I followed him, without a word.

The study was in darkness. The smell was stronger there. I had no doubts: it was Alex's smell. But... how?

"Carlilse, what's happening? They didn't want to expla..." I stopped as soon as he turned on the lights.

In a corner, leaning to the wall, Alex was smiling to me.

I moved back, stopping only when I had my back against the door.

"Y-you... how... it's... it's impossible! I saw you dying... I heard your heart... stop..." I stuttered while he was coming closer.

"I believed it too, until De la Croix explained to me what had happened..." he was so close now that I could have touched him. "Do you remember that last kiss, Lagu? Well, that was it. You changed me with that kiss." He explained, with a shrug.

Five minutes, the time to get used to the idea, and I regained control over myself.

"All this time, and you never looked for me?" I asked, forcing my arms to the sides of my body, fighting to urges: slap him and hug him.

"But I did look for you!" he exclaimed. "I just couldn't find you..." he lowered his voice in a sad whisper and shook his head. "I couldn't find you... and I had no idea of what..." the same tone of voice. The same movements. The same nervous gesture of touching his neck while shaking the head. The same way of avoiding my eyes. He had been afraid. For me.

I raised a hand to touch him, stopping halfway, realizing how much all this looked unreal. He noticed.

"Touch me. I'm here, in front of you. For real." He smiled, taking my hand and putting it to his cheek. "I'm real. I'm not in your head."

I wasn't imagining it. He was real. _Real._

I raised my eyes to meet his, founding them black. He needed to feed. What was his prey? I realized I didn't care. In less than two seconds, I was clinging to him, kissing him like we did when we were still human.

_Xxx_

_Edward_

While Bella was dressing, I reflected on Alice's call.

She saw Alex coming to us and kill me. I was sure she was mistaken, it was impossible that a man who died six hundred years ago was looking for me, with the intention of killing me, without a reason. Unless... unless he never died. And, if that was the case, why Laguna should have lied all this time? Maybe, she didn't know he was alive... and so, if Alice was right, and Alex was alive, it would be a shock for Laguna. There was only one thing not clear: why kill me? I couldn't see a reason, other than he knew what happened...

Impossible! The only people that knew it were Laguna, Alice and I.

Alice was wrong, I was sure.

_Xxx_

_Bella_

I convinced Edward to go his house and take me with him. Obviously, he protested that, if Alice had been right, I would be in danger, too. But after a while, I succeeded.

We were in the car, going to his house, in silence. Edward looked at me from time to time, but I was looking right in front of me, thinking about Alice's vision. I couldn't find a reason why Alex would want to kill Edward.

There was something I didn't know? Something I should have known?

_Xxx_

_Alex_

After six hundred years of pointless searching, she was there, in front of me. I couldn't believe my eyes. I forgot why I was there. I forgot the picture and the questions.

She was the only thing that mattered.

She had looked at me like she was waiting for some sort of signal in her head. She looked so different, but when she started kissing me everything seemed like before. Like time hasn't passed.

I hugged her, lifting her, and she clung to me with her arms and legs. I took just one step, to make her touch the door with her back again.

I heard a door open and close, maybe it was Carlisle using a second door to leave his study. I didn't care. I was thinking about something else.

I had almost forgot how it felt touching her. And now I remembered, with a hand moving slowly on her ribcage, under her shirt.

Too much, too soon. Her lips left mine.

"Don't you think this is not the right place?" she almost laughed.

"Where?" I sighed. "Tell me..." I moved my hand away.

"Not now." She shook her head. "Can you wait a little longer?" she asked. Could I wait? Yes.

I nodded, stepping back, letting her stand on her feet. I moved back, until I could almost sit on the desk. She looked at me, puzzled.

"I didn't tell you to step back." she smiled, coming to me, sliding her arms around my neck.

"i thought..." I smiled back.

"You were wrong." She shrugged. "I missed you..." she admitted, whispering.

"I missed y..." she didn't let me finish, silencing me with another kiss.


	17. Chapter 17

**Ok, here we are again!**

**I'm sorry, I'm late again! I have an exam on Tuesday (French literature, the Eighteenth century, if you are interested XD ), so wish me luck!**

**Don't hate me, after this chapter. Please! :) **

**English is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistakes. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

17

**_Laguna_**

I remained in Alex's arms, with my eyes closed, my head against his shoulder, while he slowly moved his hand up and down my spine. We were silently sharing memories, carefully avoiding two nights: the one of his 'death' and the one of his awakening. Needless to say I had another night to hide. My night with Edward.

"Where were you hiding? I couldn't find you..." he asked, while I smiled.

"Doesn't matter. What matters is that you found me... just in time..." I said. I felt him stiffen.

"What?" he moved my head enough to look into my eyes. He was serious and worried.

"Look..." I looked down, as if the floor of the study was the most interesting thing in the world. "I tried to keep that promise... but... I couldn't take it anymore..." I started playing with the band I wore on my wrist, like a child being scoldedI heard him breathing and I looked at him again.

"Lagu..." this time, it was his turn to look at the floor. "Regarding that promise... I think you kept it well enough..." he put his hand in the inner pocket of his jacket, producing a picture. "I took it from your house..." he admitted, showing me the picture. "You have nothing to explain. I asked you to be happy... and..." he turned his face, avoiding carefully every eye contact. He sighed again. "I don't care if it's not with me..."

I took the picture from his hand. It was the one with me and Edward. I fought not to laugh. He thought Edward and I were together! Well, keeping my secrets now was pointless. He had guessed something, so I decided to confess.

"Alex... there's something I think you need to know..."

* * *

**_Edward_**

As soon as we were home, the others looked at us like we were ghosts.

"Edward! I told you not to come!" Alice attacked me. _Alex is alive! He's upstairs! What if Laguna tells him everything? What if he comes here and..._

She was scared, like the others. Bella, instead, was confused. I wanted to explain something to her, but I didn't have the time.

I heard a door slam, then quick footsteps. I had no time to react. A hand grabbed me at the neck, and my feet left the ground. Right in front of me was the face that I had seen only in Laguna's portraits and memories. But now he was furious. And... _sad._

"Alex!" Laguna stopped beside him. "Put him down!" she ordered to him, while motioning to Emmett, which was starting to stand up from the couch, to stay were he was. "Be reasonable."

"I don't want to be reasonable..." he hissed, tightening his already painful grip on my neck. "When I'm done with him, it will be your turn, don't worry." No one had ever looked at me which so much hatred in their eyes. I guessed Laguna had told him everything.

Bella was terrified. I noticed Esme guiding her away from us.

"Alex... please..." Laguna pleaded, but he didn't care.

"It's always the same, Lagu. Every time I go away, you find some little boy... the last time, that guy, Zacc..." he said the name with more disdain than necessary. "And now... him. Another little boy..." he opened his hand, and I fell to the floor. Alex turned to Laguna. "You just don't understand the idea of 'for ever'... is so hard for you to avoid sleeping with someone that is not me?"

* * *

**_Bella_**

And so, Alice was right and Alex was still alive.

I was unprepared for Alex's reaction. I couldn't move, I just stood there, until Esme took me away.

I simply stared when he accused Laguna of cheating on him.

"It's always the same, Lagu. Every time I go away, you find some little boy... the last time, that guy, Zacc... and now... him. Another little boy..." he let go of Edward, who fell on the floor. "You just don't understand the idea of 'for ever'... is so hard for you to avoid sleeping with someone that is not me?"

I froze on his last words. I was right thinking that there had been – or still was – something between Edward and Laguna, but I never thought that they had actually slept together. And... why Edward never told me? He wanted to know everything about me, so why not tell me this? Maybe, it happened the night she came, when Edward was late...

Like my body didn't belong to me, I stood and walked, almost running, to the back door.

* * *

**_Alex_**

What the Hell had gotten into me? Why did I act that way? I had told myself that I would accept the thing, seeing that I was the one that told her to move on. So.. why?

The guy eyed me suspiciously. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the big one that Laguna stopped would take my head.

I moved to a couch and almost fell on it. I covered my face with my hands, wishing I could disappear.

"I'm an idiot..." I mumbled.

"At least you admit it." Laguna's answer to that wasn't exactly what I expected. "What was that show? You said you didn't care!"

I sighed, not daring to look at her. I knew her well enough to know that, if she could in that moment, she would show me who the Black Rose was.

"Yeah, I said it, but... but I didn't think that..." I couldn't even accept the idea. I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I overreacted..."

"You don't have to apologise to me." She answered. I looked at the guy, Edward.

"To me neither..." he said, going to the backdoor, when the little girl went. "You should apologise to Bella. You hurt her, not us."

That guy had a very strange way of thinking. The others looked at me like they were both astonished and upset. The show they had witnessed wasn't something that happened everyday: someone you thought dead almost beheads your brother, or son.

I heard Laguna sigh, and I forced myself to look at her: arms crossed, head bent to the side, ready for an argument. I was surprised to noticed that I missed that too.

"I don't understand." She said, shaking her head. "I just don't understand. Give me an explaination." She was getting angry. What could I say? That, even though I only wanted her to be happy, knowing that she moved on made me angry? Well, actually, it was right.

"Lagu..." I started, but she gave me the stink eye.

"Don't call me Lagu." She turned her back to me. "You know what? I don't care about your explainations." She added, voice hard. "You'll never change."

I stood. What did she know of how I've felt? Thinking I was dead, she had nothing to be afraid of. I, instead, knew she was alive, and I was terrified of what could have happened to her.

"Now it's your turn to be reasonable, Magdalena Eva Elizabeth." I made an effort to remember all her names, and to stress every one of them. She stiffened, as I planned, and turn to face me.

"I'm all ears." I couldn't say if she was acting cold. Damn if she was good at it.

"I can imagine how hard it had been, thinking I was dead. But, believe me, not knowing where you were, at what you were doing, wasn't easy. I feared for your life every second." I wasn't lying, and she knew it. She seemed to calm down. I went on. "I asked you to be happy, it's true, but the thought that other hands could touch you, other eyes see you as I do..." I couldn't look at her. "...it was painful. And knowing it happened is even worse." I looked at her again, and this time it was her turn to stare at the floor.

"You really are an idiot." She was clenching her fists, and I prepared myself for a slap or two. "How... how could you even think I could be happy without you?"

Her words stung more than the slaps I thought of. Before I could even think of what I was doing, I hugged her.

"I love you."


	18. Chapter 18

**Surprise! Here I am, again!**

**:) **

**See you soon, hopefully!**

**English is not my motherlanguage, so, maybe, I made some mistakes. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

18

**_Laguna_**

"I love you."

Hearing, after six hundred years, his real voice – and not the one coming from a memory - telling me that he loved me, almost made me forget what had just happened. Almost.

I took a step back from him, disentangling from his arms – not that I wanted to, but I had to.

"It's not so easy, Edgar Alexander." Now it was my turn to say the full name.

He sighed. "What do I have to do so you can forgive me?" then, he turned to the others. "You too, obviously. I wasn't... civil." He added, a hand on the nape of his neck, like he did every time he was nervous or embarassed. To be honest, it was an attitude that he had taken from me.

"Try to make things right here." I answered, dry, heading to the backdoor, looking for Bella.

I hoped she didn't go too far. But she was right there, sitting with her chin resting on her knees.

"Ehm... may I?" I asked, sitting next to her.

"I'm not mad at you." She surprised me. "Nor with Alex... I have nothing to blame you two for. Edward should have told me. You couldn't know he didn't." She turned to face me with a sad smile.

"Bella... it happened so long ago... you were just a child, if you were even born at all..." I said. She shook her head.

"You don't have to say anything. I told you, I'm not mad at you."

I sighed, standing up. "I don't have an answer. I don't know why he kept the secret.." I shrugged. "We should ask him."

"Alex would have had my support, if he had beheaded Edward..." she muttered.

"I think I would deserve it..." came Edward's voice.

* * *

**_Edward_**

"Alex would have had my support, if he had beheaded Edward..." Bella muttered.

"I think I would deserve it..." I answered, making my presence known. Bella was right, Alex reaction had been right. I could say he had been even too delicate. If I were in his shoes, I would have beheaded the man who stole my woman.

"We agree, for once." Bella answered, dry, as I set beside her. I was surprised by her reaction: I was expecting tears, desperation, a request of explainations... instead, she was detached, cold.

"Bella, please..." I was trying to say I was sorry for not telling her about that one night of at least ten years before, but she stopped me raising her hand.

"I don't want to hear a single word. I don't want to hear how sorry you are." She stood and walked past me, stopping at the door. "I'm going home, now, before Charlie decides to come back early. Obviously, I'm asking Alice to drive me. And I don't want you to come, tonight. I'll call you, sooner or later." She said, angry.

I opened my mouth to say something, but without knowing what. So I stood there, with my mouth open like a dying goldfish, while she went straight to Alice to ask her to drive her home.

She didn't gave me time to say something. She had never looked at me with so much repugnance.

* * *

**_Bella_**

I didn't know how to feel, while Alice drove me home.

I was silently pretending to look the road. I didn't even notice we were in my driveway.

"Bella?" Alice's voice woke me. I climbed out the car and she was at my side. "Do you want me to stay with you until Charlie's home?" she asked, a little worried. I knew I didn't look good.

"Don't worry." I forced a smile. "You already know what I'll do." I added, with a shrug.

"Yeah..." she was back behind the wheel. "If you need anything, call me. I'll be here in a minute." She looked at me intently from the driver seat.

I nodded. "Don't worry, Alice." While she started the car, something came to my mind. "Alice... you knew about Laguna and Edward, right?"

She sighed. "Yes. He should have told you. Keeping the secret was wrong. Edward's wrong."

"I know, Alice. I know."

I open the front door while she was driving away. I went to my room, to pretend I never left the house. In ten minutes, the front door opened.

"Bella?" my father called from downstairs.

"Here!" I answered, reaching the stairs.

"Everything alright, here?" he asked, when I joined him in the living room.

"Sure." I lied, with a big fake smile that seemed to work. I took note: lie to Charlie only when he's tired, like today, after a fishing trip.

* * *

**_Alex_**

Like Laguna requested, I tried to make things right with the family. I didn't think they would be so understanding, and that they would side with me and not with the boy.

I went to find Laguna while Bella was asking Alice to drive her home, and I found Edward sitting looking pensive, and Laguna standing a few feet apart from him. She didn't even wait for me to take a step out the backdoor to give me the stink eye again.

"Ehy, calm down! I apologised with the others!" I raised my hands in surrender, and she laughed. She couldn't stay mad at me for too long.

"Thirsty?" she asked, coming to me. Edward went back inside. He knew I didn't like him. Nothing personal, no. He had only slept with my woman.

"Just a little." I smiled, opening my arms to her, but she shook her head, stopping a couple of steps from me.

"Want me to take you to dinner?" she asked, offering a hand.

"Don't tell me you already have a place to bring me to!" I pretended to be surprised. Before the Moons found us and tried to kill me, I had lived with her for two years. I was able to guess how much time had passed since she last fed. I guessed around three days.

She nodded. "Yes, I already have a place." She took back her hand. "Shall we?"

"I want another guide." I teased her, and she smiled.

"Ok, I'm going to ask someone to go with you..." she shrugged, starting for the door. "I thought you wanted to be alone with me..."

I stopped her almost at the threshold. "Kidding. I want only you."


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm not too late, am I?**

**Happy Easter to everybody!**

**I've spent the last three days helping my mother baking. She says every year that she will do 'only one pastiera, just for us', and every year we end up baking at least ten, for friends and family (this time, we made eleven, but one got too burnt to be edible, so it's ten again). And now, the house smells like orange flowers. (If you want, you can google 'pastiera', most of the results will be in Italian, but there's an article in wikipedia, if you're curious).**

**Ok, back to the story!**

**English is not my mother language, so, maybe, I made some mistakes. Don't fear to point them out: I'll be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Only Laguna.**

19

**_Laguna_**

I took Alex to the same spot where I went with Emmett. I stood aside, watching him. He was spectacular. Well, at least for me. He gave me his jacket and took off his shoes. That left him wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt. Well, it _had been_ white... now it was dirty and ripped. Even if he had demonstrated a natural ability at hunting, he was a little voracious, and not much _elegant_, for lack of a better word. I just blamed his thirst for that.

With a hand on his stomach and a satisfied smile on his bloody lips, he came to lay beside me.

"Now I feel better. And I can be reasonable." He said, moving his hands behind his head.

"You are a mess..." the more I looked at him, the more I laughed. He looked like he had just left a slaughterhouse.

"You think?" he asked, perplexed, sitting up and looking at his t-shirt.

"I do! You look like a child bathed in ice cream!" I burst into laughter, and so did he. "It's a shame I don't have a mirror. You have blood on your lips and chin." I added.

He moved closer, with a not very reassuring smile, his face close to mine.

"Why don't you clean it?"

I decided to feign innocence . "Oh? And how?" I tried to look angelic, a little girl caught in the snare of the big bad vampire. It was hard not to laugh.

Alex leaned on his elbow, and laughed. "Stop it, please. Come on, before it dries."

"Ok, I stop." I regained my composure. "You should stop teasing me, you know? I might end up taking you on your word..." I added, closing the distance between us. I didn't even start kissing him, that he pressed me against him.

When he released me, I remembered the mess he had made of his clothes and I didn't even want to think what happened to my shirt.

"Oops! Now you're dirty too..." Alex snickered while I examined my – now ruined – shirt.

I sighed, resigned. "What do I have to do with you?" I shook my head, trying to keep my face straight, but failing.

"Well... I could take this off, so I won't get you dirty again..." with a mischievous grin, he took off his shirt. It wasn't the first time I saw him shirtless, but, like every other time, I remained speechless. He was perfect, at least to me.

"Lagu? Are you still there?" then, he laughed again. "Come on! I can't believe that I still have this effect on you!" he shook his head, still smiling, crossing his arms. "What do I have to do with you?" he mocked me.

It was my turn to laugh. "Do you hear what you're saying? Don't you think you're exaggerating? Do you remember how it ended for Narcissus, right?"

"Yeah, I do. But I can swim." He sneered. "I think you should take off your shirt, too. Or else, you'll get me dirty." He teased me. "Or do you want me to do it for you?" he asked, looking into my eyes, while his hand was already at the hem of my shirt. I couldn't help but obey. Three seconds, and my shirt was off.

"Here. Now." I said.

I didn't have to say it again.

* * *

**_Bella_**

I was sitting on the couch with Charlie, pretending to watch with interest whatever was on TV at the moment. When I noticed we have been watching commercials for at least half an hour, I guessed he wasn't paying that much attention, too.

I stood, stretching. "I'm going upstairs. It's getting late, and tomorrow's Monday." Actually, it was really getting late.

"Ok. Goodnight, Bella." my father started flipping to channels, smiling at me, while I went upstairs.

After a quick shower, I went to bed, ready for my lonely night. Lonely for my own choice. I would not surrender easily, not this time.

He should have told me. What was the point in hiding it and lying to me? I couldn't understand.

I turned a few times under the covers, thinking that avoiding Edward would be hard. But I needed to be alone and think.

* * *

**_Edward_**

It was dark outside. Bella now would be saying goodnight to Charlie, before heading to bed and my open arms.

I closed my eyes, lying on my couch, thinking of what I would do if I was with her. I would have hugged her. I would have lulled her to sleep. I would have listened to her breathing, her heart. I would have heard her whisper my name. I would have dreamed to be in her head, to know if she was dreaming about me. I would have waited for the dawn to paint its light on her...

But no. She wanted to be alone. She said that she would call me, sooner or later.

I reopened my eyes in the dark room. I had been a complete idiot, keeping everything a secret. I should have told her. Maybe she would have gotten angry, but it would have passed. But now...

I sighed. Now I didn't even know if begging for forgiveness was an option.

I regretted that Alex hadn't beheaded me.

* * *

**_Alex_**

The dark sky was a clue of how much time had passed since we left the house. Even though I would have preferred to stay where I was, with her in my arms, until the end of time, we had to head back.

"Maybe it's better if we get dressed..." I said. "Your family must be worried..." I smile, while we sat up.

"I don't think so... and it's your family, too." She said, standing up and starting to get dressed.

"Well, I don't know how much your little boy will like it..." I smile to her, buttoning my jeans and slipping on my shoes, while she was examining our shirts. "I think it's better if we don't put those on. Let's just take them home and see if yours can be saved..."

"Well... you could go around shirtless, but I can't!" she shrugged. I couldn't argue on that. She had always had the bad – although I couldn't protest – habit of not wearing anything under her shirts. I knew it was way easier, when you had to wear corsets under your clothes, but modern clothing and underwear were not that complicated. I tossed her my jacket.

"Put this on. I know it's at least two – if not three – times your size, but at least you can cover up."

Wearing my jacket, she looked like a little kid wearing daddy's clothes. She had to roll the sleeves at least three times. She was funny. And she was mine.

Only mine.


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm terribly sorry for making you wait all this time, but, finally, here we are with a new chapter :)**

**I'll try to update more regularly from now on, but still, if you don't see an update in... 7 or 10 days, feel free to contact me and remind me :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't onw Twilight, only Laguna and Alex**

20

_**Laguna**_

On coming back home, we found Esme waiting for us, probably informed by Alice. She threw away Alex's shirt and took mine. While Alex and I were going upstairs to my room, Alice joined us.

"About time!" she laughed. "Everything ok?"

"Alice..." I sighed. "Why bother asking, if you already know the answer?"

"True." She smiled. "I stopped you only because I think Alex needs something to wear, right?" she said to him.

"Right. I didn't think I needed to pack." He answered, then he turned to me. "And I'm sure you don't have anything that could fit me anymore."

I shook my head. "Nothing, sorry."

"Well, this time I can help you." Alice smiled widely. "I don't think Jasper would mind lending you something..." she offered Alex her hand.

Alex turned again towards me for confirmation. I nodded and he followed Alice, while I headed to my room. I needed some clothes, too, even though I didn't mind wearing Alex's jacket.

I started rummaging in my trunk. Sure, a suitcase would have been easier to carry around, but I was fond of that thing: it looked exactly like the one I had as a child.

In taking a shirt, I found something I didn't think I had put in there: the only dress I had ever owned, still in perfect conditions.

I took off the jacket and put on the shirt, still looking at the dress. I knelt beside the trunk and took it out.

_The afternoon light floods a room too big for one person but too small for two._

_The mirror is in the only half-lit zone of the room, in a corner, and I stare at my reflection. I try to look at it as if I was someone else, I try to think of me as someone I don't know and see for the first time._

_I grimace. Maybe, I'm too harsh with myself._

_I don't like what I see: a skinny girl with a blue dress, bony shoulders, a scar that crosses half her face and insignificant blue eyes, too big and too blue. The girl that looks back at me from the mirror looks more like a child, even though she is eighteen. Her legs are too short to be called legs. She has a long scar on her arm, lots of them on her back, a horrible tattoo on her back, one less horrible on her shoulder and two initials on her heart._

"_Unwatchable." I whisper to the mirror, while the door opens. Only two steps, but I know they are his._

"_Where is this coming from?" he asks, closing the door behind him. He is behind me and the mirror still doesn't reflect him, but I know he is smiling._

"_From the trunk", I say, shrugging. "Where I'm going to put it and never take it out again." I add._

_Now he is beside me. "I don't think I agree. I like it." I says, smiling at the mirror._

"_I don't." I say, turning my head so that only the scarred half of my face is reflected in the mirror._

"_And why?" he asks, forcing me to face the mirror. He rests his head on my shoulder. "I like it. A lot." He tries to convince me._

"_I don't like. It doesn't matter what you say, I'll never like it." I try to face away from the mirror, and again he forces me to stare at my reflection._

"_Tell me why. If you convince me, I swear you'll never have to wear it again." He insists._

_I sigh. "I tried to look at me as if I was someone else... and..." I stop just the time to take a breath. "And I found more flaws than good things." I finish, with a shrug. His reflection is staring at me._

"_Give me some exemples. I see nothing wrong."_

_I sigh again, resigned. "First, I'm skinny." He opens his mouth to say something, but I stop him with a glance. "Second, the scars. Third, I look like a child..." I shake my head, wriggling out of his grip. "I wonder what you've seen in me..." I say in a voice so low I'm surprised he hears me._

"_I've seen what the mirror is and never will be able to show you." He answers. I can hear another smile in his voice. I can't see his face, a few paces behind me, but I'm sure he's smiling. "And besides, is you that want to see you in that way. It's not true that you're skinny, nor that you look like a child." He was serious now._

"_You said nothing about the scars..." I protest, childishly. I can hear him chuckle._

"_Those are there, it's true. But I don't care about your scars." His arms are now around me. "If I know you well enough, you didn't mention your eyes. Am I wrong?"_

_I sigh, knowing I have no secrets for him. I turn in his arms, resting my hands on his chest, remaining silent, still wondering if there's really something right in me._

"_Whatever that mirror seems to say to you, don't listen. The only opinion you have to trust about you, is mine. Are we clear?" he is so serious that I can't help but do as he says and nod._

"_And... your opinion is?" I ask, hesitant._

"_That you're perfect." He smiles, and I have to smile back. "And... while we're on the subject, this will be your wedding dress. It's not a request, Lagu. It's an order." He smiles, pretending to be authoritative. "And my hands will be the only hands that will take it off." In saying the last part, he is already taking it off._

"_Agreed." I'm laughing now. "What do you think you're doing?" I ask, while the dress slips away._

"_Admiring your perfection..." he carries me to the bed. "...and maybe something else..."_

* * *

_**Edward**_

I was tired of staying isolated in my room. I knew everyone was against me, but I couldn't be a prisoner in my own home!

I went downstairs, to my piano. Touching the keys made my stomach knot. I clenched my fist, realizing I was an idiot. An idiot that, now, would play only for himself, because the only person that I had ever wanted to be my audience didn't even want to see me. The only thing I could do, was to respect Bella's choice.

Impossible. I would not let her make a choice, not before she knew my side of the story.

* * *

_**Bella**_

I couldn't sleep. It was absurd! It was Edward's fault, and _I_ was the one feeling guilty?

I puffed, turning in my bed to face the window.

The lighting of the rainstorm cast a familiar shadow: Edward was standing beside my window. I sat up in my bed.

"What do you want?" I snarled, surprised at myself. In the last ten seconds, I didn't think I could be hard with him.

"I wanted to explain." He answered, calm.

"I don't want to listen." I stood my ground. "Not now."

He sighed, nodding. "I know I was wrong not telling you everything..." he shook his head.

"Go away." I insisted. "Please, go." I didn't know if I could resist anymore. But I couldn't just forgive him. I couldn't always be the one without a backbone. He had to pay a little for his mistake.

Another sigh, then Edward was gone.

* * *

_**Alex**_

I borrowed a black t-shirt from Jasper. Lucky me, we were about the same size.

I reached Laguna's room. The door was ajar, so I peeked inside and, at first, I didn't see Laguna. I took a step into the room and looked around: chaos, of course. Drawings were scattered on the walls, a canvas in a corner, her trunk near the window, an easel in the middle of the room, and a mirror in a corner. And then, her. She was at the mirror, wearing a blue dress and looking at her reflection with a critical eye.

The feeling of déjà-vu was incredible. It wasn't the first time that I entered a room to see her standing before a mirror, wearing a blue dress identical to the one she was wearing now. I doubted it was the same dress, but I wasn't an expert. The only thing I knew was that she looked incredible.

I still remembered what she said that time: _First, I'm skinny. Second, the scars. Third, I look like a child. _ I have always considered her perfect. The only point on which I agreeded with her were the scars. But now I could make them vanish. I had the power to do it.

Resisting the urge to go to her, I remained where I was, looking at her. She was everything I ever wanted, the only one I ever loved. If De la Croix had told me she was dead, I would have died to avenge her. If she had told me she wanted to fight the Three Moons, I would have died with her.

I couldn't help but staying there and watch her and her reflection. So small, frail, thin as a stem, hard as a rock.

I remembered when we met, when her smile didn't reach her eyes and when, afterward, she couldn't help but smile. _To me._

I was daydreaming, lost in my memories, when she interrumpted me.

"Are you going to stay there and watch for ever?" she was laughing.

I went to her. "Maybe..." I answered, with a shrug. "You found a dress that looks exactly like your old one..." I added, touching the corsage.

"Actually, is _that_ dress..." she admitted. I was surprised, but I didn't even try to ask for an explaination.

"You look good with it, exactly like you did when you were eighteen." I smiled at her reflection.

"And, exactly like when I was eighteen, the scars ruin the picture..." she sighed, turning towards me.

"Lagu... you have power over memories... and I... well..." how could I explain to her that I could erase those scars? "Remeber when you said that I erased the scars no one could see? Well... now I can erase the visible ones..." I tried to look serious, but I didn't knew if she would believe me.

She widened her eyes. "You... what?"

"Well... it's my power..." I answered, shrugging.

"Prove it." always the practical one, she offered me her left arm. "Cancel this." she defied me.

I concentrated, and passed a finger on her scar, that vanished. The only problem was that, the more painful the wound was, the more painful removing the scar would be.

"You could have said that it would hurt..." was Laguna's only comment.

"Do you want me to continue?" I asked. I knew the scar on her belly had been very painful. I tried to imagine the kind of pain she would suffer in erasing it.

"Erase them all."


	21. Chapter 21

**I made you wait, again :( **

**I'll do my best and try to update more regularly, but still, if you don't see a new chapter in 7-10 days, feel free to contact me and remind me, ok?**

**Note: I'm Italian, and my English is not perfect. I'm doing my best, but there will be mistakes. **

**Disclaimer: I don't onw Twilight, only Laguna and Alex**

21

_**Laguna**_

Alex erased all my scars but one, asking me to wait a few minutes for that last one.

I could have easily said that his were, right now, painful caresses. While he was removing the scars from my arm and my face, it seemed like the knife that had made them – _my_ knife – was again carving into my flesh. With the scars on my back it had been even worse: six years of whipping in a few seconds.

I was on my knees, wearing only my panties, huddled on myself, trying not to pay attention to the pain, trying to kill it like I did while my stepmother used to whip me.

_Close your eyes and breathe... breathe... breathe..._ a voice whispered in my head. I recognized it as mine. It was the same thing I used to say to myself back then. _Breathe and don't scream, or else you'll be playing her game._

I focused on my breathing and the pain seemed to subside, and then fade.

"Lagu... I'm sorry. I should have erased them one by one..." Alex was sitting in front of me, worried.

"Don't worry..." I managed to smile, and he seemed to relax a little. "There's only one left." I straightened up.

The scar I had on my belly was the last one. It stayed there, mocking me, reminding me that erasing it would be the epitome of painful.

"Maybe we should wait a little while..." Alex said. I knew he didn't want to hurt me, but it was necessary. That was the last scar. The last tie with my horrible past. _My past is real, I have scars that prove it_. How many times did I say it to him?

"Alex... do you remember what I used to say? That I couldn't forget because of my scars? That they reminded me of my past? Do you remember it?" he nodded. "For me, erasing my scars is forgetting... forgetting when I tried to kill myself, when I killed my stepmother, when she whipped me... and..." I shook my head. "Forgetting everything. The past. Everything. It means starting over."

Alex sighed. "I was never able to do it. Until now." he put his hand on my scar. "When they did this to you..."

"It had been hell." I answered, without giving him the time to ask. He sighed again.

"Turn around and come here." I obeyed, my back against his chest. He put an arm around my waist, and I put an hand on his wrist. "Squeeze if it hurts, but don't scream. We don't want to alarm the others, right?" he said, his hand on my scar again. "I'm going to hurt you. Forgive me."

I didn't have the time to close my eyes before the pain started.

_**Edward**_

Something was wrong with Bella's behavior. She sent me away, but she wasn't as cold as before. She was almost afraid that, if I stayed, she would have not stood her ground.

I stayed near her house, waiting in the rain for the morning. I'd wait for Charlie to leave, then I'd try again to talk to her. In one way or another, she would listen to me.

_**Bella**_

I still couldn't sleep. I didn't know how I manage to send away Edward, but I did.

The storm was still washing away the night from Forks, riving the silence of the dawn with his thunders and making everything almost ghostlike with lighting.

I was watching the closed window, with the covers almost at my ears and my head pressed against the pillow. Watching the sky letting out all of its anger against Forks, I couldn't help but cry.

_**Alex**_

I held her in my arms, while she focused on her breathing, a thing that, she had explained to me once, helped her to bear the pain when her stepmother whipped her. Now, she was doing the same thing to bear the pain _I_ was inflicting to her.

I could hear her breathe heavily. Her grip on my wrist was so strong that I started to think she was going to break it.

She bent forward, releasing my wrist. She was still breathing heavily, even more than before. Her hair fell in disarray along her back, and a few strands had slipped over her neck. I moved them all over her left shoulder and kissed her neck.

"I'm here", I said, sliding my arms around her waist.

"It... hurts..." she whispered, clenching her teeth and bending her head backwards.

I wished I didn't tell her about my ability. I didn't want her to suffer again for the same pain. I wished I could take her pain and feel it for her, instead of her.

Slowly, her breathing became regular and she relaxed against me.

"Are you OK?" I asked, while she changed position, leaning sideways against me, her head on my shoulder.

She nodded, slowly, as if she was too tired even for such a simple action. She still had her hands on her belly.

"Are you sure?" I asked, lifting up her head. I wanted to look into her eyes and be sure that she wasn't lying to me just to make me feel better.

"I am." her lips stretched into a smile. I pulled back the hair from her face and, finally, I could look at her, and not just half her face. I touched her right cheek, now free of the scar, and smiled back at her.

The dawn was lighting up the room, casting lights and shadows on Laguna's body, painting her skin. She rested her head on my shoulder again.

"I love you. You know it, right?" she whispered. I could feel her lips moving against my skin. I held her tight.

"Even if it is only the sixth time that you say it... I know it." I smiled, teasing her. Hearing her snicker made me feel at peace with myself.

"I should have said it a few times more than just six... I'm sorry." she said, shrugging.

"It doesn't matter. You've got plenty of time to say it in future." I kissed her forehead.

"Yes..." she sighed. "There's plenty of time..."

Yes, we had time. We had all eternity.


End file.
